The Sin of Monsieur Antoine, Volume 2 (of 2) and Leone LeoniSand, George
General
The Sin of Monsieur Antoine, Volume 2 (of 2) and Leone Leoni
Sand, George
French fiction -- 19th century
longer tried to argue with him on the subject. I held my peace whenever
he recurred to it, and concealed my tears, which served only to irritate
him. He thought that I understood his abominable hints and called my
silence inhuman indifference and stupid obstinacy. Several times he
struck me savagely and would have killed me if some one had not come to
my assistance. It is true that when these paroxysms had passed, he threw
himself at my feet and implored me with tears in his eyes to forgive
him. But I avoided these scenes of reconciliation so far as I could, for
the emotion caused a fresh shock to his nerves and provoked a return of
the outbreaks. At last this irritability ceased and gave place to a sort
of dull, stupid despair which was even more horrible. He would gaze at
me with a gloomy expression, and seemed to nourish a secret aversion for
me and projects of revenge. Sometimes I woke in the middle of the night
and saw him standing by my bed, his face wearing a sinister expression;
at such times I thought that he meant to kill me, and I shrieked with
fear. But he would simply shrug his shoulders and return to his bed with
a stupid laugh.
In spite of everything I loved him still, not as he was, but because of
what he had been and might become again. There were times when I had
hopes that a blessed revolution was taking place in him, and that he
would come forth from that crisis a new man, cleansed of all his evil
inclinations. He seemed no longer to think of satisfying them, nor did
he express regret or desire for anything whatsoever. I could not imagine
the subject of the long meditations by which he seemed to be absorbed.
Most of the time his eyes were fixed upon me with such a strange
expression that I was afraid of him. I dared not speak to him, but I
asked his forgiveness by imploring glances. Then I would imagine that
his own glance melted and that his breast rose with an imperceptible
sigh; he would turn his head away as if he wished to conceal or stifle
his emotion, and would fall to musing again. At such times I flattered
myself that he was engaged in making salutary reflections concerning the
past, and that he would soon open his heart to tell me that he had
conceived a hatred of vice and a love of virtue.
My hopes grew fainter when the Marquis de ---- reappeared on the scene.
He never entered my apartments, because he knew the horror I had of him;
but he would pass under the windows and call Leoni, or come to my door
and knock in a peculiar way to let him know that he was there. Then
Leoni would go out with him and remain away a long while. One day I saw
them pass and repass several times; the Vicomte de Chalm was with them.
"Leoni is lost," I thought, "and I too; some fresh crime will soon be
committed under my eyes."
That evening Leoni came home late; and, as he left his companions at the
street door, I heard him say these words:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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