Vellacott turned slowly and glanced at his companion's face. The smoke
from the bad cigarette drifted past their heads to windward. He was not
sure whether the priest was speaking from a professional point of view,
with reference to heresy and the unknown goal to which all heretics are
drifting, or not. Had René Drucquer been a good Jesuit, he would have
seen his opportunity of saying a word in season. But this estimable
desire found no place in his heart just then.
“Your life,” he continued in a monotone, “is already mapped out--like
the voyage of a ship traced across a chart. Is it not so? I have
imagined it like that.”
Vellacott continued to smoke for some moments in silence. He sat with
his long legs stretched out in front of him, his back against the rail,
and his rough blue jersey wrinkled up so that he could keep one hand in
his pocket. The priest turned to look at him with a sudden fear that his
motives might be misread. Vellacott interpreted his movement thus, for
he spoke at once with a smile on his face.
“I think it is best,” he said, “not to think too much about it. From
what experience I have had, I have come to the humiliating conclusion
that men have very little to do with the formation of their own lives. A
ship-captain may sit down and mark his course across the chart with the
greatest accuracy, the most profound knowledge of wind and current, and
the keenest foresight; but that will have very little effect upon the
actual voyage.”
“But,” argued the priest in a low voice, “is it not better to have an
end in view--to have a certain aim, and a method, more or less formed,
of attaining it?”
“Most men have that,” answered Christian, “but do not know that they
have it!”
“_You_ have?”
Christian smoked meditatively. A month ago he would have said “Yes”
without a moment's hesitation.
“And you know it, I think,” added the priest slowly. He was perfectly
innocent of any desire to extract details of his companion's life from
unwilling lips, and Christian knew it. He was convinced that, whatever
part René Drucquer had attempted to play in the past, he was sincere at
that moment, and he divined that the young Jesuit was weakly giving way
to a sudden desire to speak to some fellow-being of his own life--to lay
aside the strict reserve demanded by the tenets of the Society to which
he was irrevocably bound. In his superficial way, Christian Vellacott
had studied men as well as letters, and he was not ignorant of the
influence exercised over the human mind by such trifling circumstances
as moonshine upon placid water, distant music, the solemn hush of
eventide, or the subtle odour of a beloved flower. If René Drucquer was
on the point of committing a great mistake, he at least would not urge
him on towards it, so he smoked in silence, looking practical and
unsympathetic.
The priest laughed a little short, deprecating laugh, in which there was
no shadow of mirth.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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