And she was very happy. I will not deny that she had some feeling of
triumphant satisfaction in the knowledge that she was envied. Such a
feeling on her part was natural, and is natural to all men and women
who are conscious that they have done well in the adjustment of their
own affairs. As she herself had said, he was her bird, the spoil of
her own gun, the product of such capacity as she had in her, on which
she was to live, and, if possible, to thrive during the remainder of
her life. Lily fully recognized the importance of the thing she was
doing, and, in soberest guise, had thought much of this matter of
marriage. But the more she thought of it the more satisfied she was
that she was doing well. And yet she knew that there was a risk. He
who was now everything to her might die; nay, it was possible that
he might be other than she thought him to be; that he might neglect
her, desert her, or misuse her. But she had resolved to trust in
everything, and, having so trusted, she would not provide for herself
any possibility of retreat. Her ship should go out into the middle
ocean, beyond all ken of the secure port from which it had sailed;
her army should fight its battle with no hope of other safety than
that which victory gives. All the world might know that she loved him
if all the world chose to inquire about the matter. She triumphed in
her lover, and did not deny even to herself that she was triumphant.
Mrs. Eames was delighted to see them. It was so good in Mr. Crosbie
to come over and call upon such a poor, forlorn woman as her, and so
good in Captain Dale; so good also in the dear girls, who, at the
present moment, had so much to make them happy at home at Allington!
Little things, accounted as bare civilities by others, were esteemed
as great favours by Mrs. Eames.
"And dear Mrs. Dale? I hope she was not fatigued when we kept her up
the other night so unconscionably late?" Bell and Lily both assured
her that their mother was none the worse for what she had gone
through; and then Mrs. Eames got up and left the room, with the
declared purpose of looking for John and Mary, but bent, in truth, on
the production of some cake and sweet wine which she kept under lock
and key in the little parlour.
"Don't let's stay here very long," whispered Crosbie.
"No, not very long," said Lily. "But when you come to see my friends
you mustn't be in a hurry, Mr. Crosbie."
"He had his turn with Lady Julia," said Bell, "and we must have ours
now."
"At any rate, Mrs. Eames won't tell us to do our duty and to beware
of being too beautiful," said Lily.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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