But had he not been wrong to refuse the result of Lily's wisdom when
she told him in the field that it would be better for them to part?
He did not tell himself that he had refused her offer merely because
he had not the courage to accept it on the spur of the moment. No.
"He had been too good to the poor girl to take her at her word." It
was thus he argued on the matter within his own breast. He had been
too true to her; and now the effect would be that they would both be
unhappy for life! He could not live in content with a family upon a
small income. He was well aware of that. No one could be harder upon
him in that matter than was he himself. But it was too late now to
remedy the ill effects of an early education.
It was thus that he debated the matter as he lay in
bed,--contradicting one argument by another over and over again; but
still in all of them teaching himself to think that this engagement
of his was a misfortune. Poor Lily! Her last words to him had
conveyed an assurance that she would never distrust him. And she
also, as she lay wakeful in her bed on this the first morning of his
absence, thought much of their mutual vows. How true she would be to
them! How she would be his wife with all her heart and spirit! It was
not only that she would love him;--but in her love she would serve
him to her utmost; serve him as regarded this world, and if possible
as regarded the next.
"Bell," she said, "I wish you were going to be married too."
"Thank'ye, dear," said Bell. "Perhaps I shall some day."
"Ah; but I'm not joking. It seems such a serious thing. And I can't
expect you to talk to me about it now as you would if you were in the
same position yourself. Do you think I shall make him happy?"
"Yes, I do, certainly."
"Happier than he would be with any one else that he might meet? I
dare not think that. I think I could give him up to-morrow, if I
could see any one that would suit him better." What would Lily have
said had she been made acquainted with all the fascinations of Lady
Alexandrina De Courcy?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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