"I don't want to go in unless you wish it," he said. "Indeed, I'd
rather stay here. So, Lily, you're going to be married?" And thus he
rushed at once into the middle of his discourse.
"Yes," said she, "I believe I am."
"I have not told you yet that I congratulated you."
"I have known very well that you did so in your heart. I have always
been sure that you wished me well."
"Indeed I have. And if congratulating a person is hoping that she
may always be happy, I do congratulate you. But, Lily--" And then he
paused, abashed by the beauty, purity, and woman's grace which had
forced him to love her.
"I think I understand all that you would say. I do not want ordinary
words to tell me that I am to count you among my best friends."
"No, Lily; you don't understand all that I would say. You have never
known how often and how much I have thought of you; how dearly I have
loved you."
"John, you must not talk of that now."
"I cannot go without telling you. When I came over here, and Mrs.
Dale told me that you were to be married to that man--"
"You must not speak of Mr. Crosbie in that way," she said, turning
upon him almost fiercely.
"I did not mean to say anything disrespectful of him to you. I should
hate myself if I were to do so. Of course you like him better than
anybody else?"
"I love him better than all the world besides."
"And so do I love you better than all the world besides." And as he
spoke he got up from his seat and stood before her. "I know how poor
I am, and unworthy of you; and only that you are engaged to him,
I don't suppose that I should now tell you. Of course you couldn't
accept such a one as me. But I have loved you ever since you
remember; and now that you are going to be his wife, I cannot but
tell you that it is so. You will go and live in London; but as to my
seeing you there, it will be impossible. I could not go into that
man's house."
"Oh, John."
"No, never; not if you become his wife. I have loved you as well
as he does. When Mrs. Dale told me of it, I thought I should have
fallen. I went away without seeing you because I was unable to speak
to you. I made a fool of myself, and have been a fool all along. I am
foolish now to tell you this, but I cannot help it."
"You will forget it all when you meet some girl that you can really
love."
"And have I not really loved you? Well, never mind. I have said what
I came to say, and I will now go. If it ever happens that we are down
in the country together, perhaps I may see you again; but never in
London. Good-by, Lily." And he put out his hand to her.
[ILLUSTRATION: "And have I not really loved you?"]
"And won't you stay for mamma?" she said.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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