"I am hurt;--I am hurt," he continued. And she was surprised by his
look of pain even more than by the unaccustomed warmth of his words.
"What you have said has, I have known, been the case all along. But
though I had felt it to be so, I own that I am hurt by your open
words."
"Because I have said that my own children must ever be my own?"
"Ah, you have said more than that. You and the girls have been living
here, close to me, for--how many years is it now?--and during all
those years there has grown up for me no kindly feeling. Do you think
that I cannot hear, and see, and feel? Do you suppose that I am a
fool and do not know? As for yourself you would never enter this
house if you did not feel yourself constrained to do so for the
sake of appearances. I suppose it is all as it should be. Having no
children of my own, I owe the duty of a parent to my nieces; but I
have no right to expect from them in return either love, regard, or
obedience. I know I am keeping you here against your will, Mary. I
won't do so any longer." And he made a sign to her that she was to
depart.
As she rose from her seat her heart was softened towards him. In
these latter days he had shown much kindness to the girls,--a
kindness that was more akin to the gentleness of love than had
ever come from him before. Lily's fate had seemed to melt even his
sternness, and he had striven to be tender in his words and ways.
And now he spoke as though he had loved the girls, and had loved
them in vain. Doubtless he had been a disagreeable neighbour to his
sister-in-law, making her feel that it was never for her personally
that he had opened his hand. Doubtless he had been moved by an
unconscious desire to undermine and take upon himself her authority
with her own children. Doubtless he had looked askance at her from
the first day of her marriage with his brother. She had been keenly
alive to all this since she had first known him, and more keenly
alive to it than ever since the failure of those efforts she had made
to live with him on terms of affection, made during the first year or
two of her residence at the Small House. But, nevertheless, in spite
of all, her heart bled for him now. She had gained her victory over
him, having fully held her own position with her children; but now
that he complained that he had been beaten in the struggle, her heart
bled for him.
"My brother," she said, and as she spoke she offered him her hands,
"it may be that we have not thought as kindly of each other as we
should have done."
"I have endeavoured," said the old man. "I have endeavoured--" And
then he stopped, either hindered by some excess of emotion, or unable
to find the words which were necessary for the expression of his
meaning.
"Let us endeavour once again,--both of us."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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