"But we shall see more of the world," said Lily. "Lady Julia's
carriage comes into town twice a week, and the Miss Gruffens drive
about in great style. Upon the whole, we shall gain a great deal;
only for the poor old garden. Mamma, I do think I shall break my
heart at parting with Hopkins; and as to him, I shall be disappointed
in mankind if he ever holds his head up again after I am gone."
But in truth there was very much of sadness in their resolution, and
to Mrs. Dale it seemed as though she were managing matters badly
for her daughters, and allowing poverty and misfortune to come upon
them through her own fault. She well knew how great a load of sorrow
was lying on Lily's heart, hidden beneath those little attempts at
pleasantry which she made. When she spoke of being disappointed in
mankind, Mrs. Dale could hardly repress an outward shudder that would
betray her thoughts. And now she was consenting to take them forth
from their comfortable home, from the luxury of their lawns and
gardens, and to bring them to some small dingy corner of a provincial
town,--because she had failed to make herself happy with her
brother-in-law. Could she be right to give up all the advantages
which they enjoyed at Allington,--advantages which had come to them
from so legitimate a source,--because her own feelings had been
wounded? In all their future want of comfort, in the comfortless
dowdiness of the new home to which she would remove them, would
she not always blame herself for having brought them to that by
her own false pride? And yet it seemed to her that she now had no
alternative. She could not now teach her daughters to obey their
uncle's wishes in all things. She could not make Bell understand that
it would be well that she should marry Bernard because the squire had
set his heart on such a marriage. She had gone so far that she could
not now go back.
"I suppose we must move at Lady-day?" said Bell, who was in favour of
instant action. "If so, had you not better let uncle Christopher know
at once?"
"I don't think that we can find a house by that time."
"We can get in somewhere," continued Bell. "There are plenty of
lodgings in Guestwick, you know." But the sound of the word lodgings
was uncomfortable in Mrs. Dale's ears.
"If we are to go, let us go at once," said Lily. "We need not stand
much upon the order of our going."
"Your uncle will be very much shocked," said Mrs. Dale.
"He cannot say that it is your fault," said Bell.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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