He was mistaken in this, however. The pain still sent its fearful
messages to his brain, but in his growing stupor he was no longer aware
of them. Even his hand didn't hurt him now. He wondered if it were
frozen; yet it was still sensitive to the depressions in the drifts. It
could still grope through the snow and find the tracks.
"I can't go on!" his voice suddenly spoke aloud. "I can't go--any
more."
The words seemed to come from an inner man, without volition on his
part. He was a little amazed to hear them. Yet the time had not yet
come to stop and rest. The tracks still led him on.
Always, it seemed to him, he had to grope longer to find the
indentations in the snow. The simple reason was that the motor centers
of his brain had begun to be impaired by cold and exhaustion, and he
could no longer walk in a straight line. He found out, however, that
the trail usually lay to the right rather than to his left. He was
taking a shorter step with his left than with his right--the same
tendency that often makes a tried woodsman walk in a great circle--and
he thus bore constantly to the left. Soon it became necessary to drop
his formula down to six, then to the original five.
On and on, through the long hours. But the fight was almost done.
Exhaustion and hunger, but cold most of all, were swiftly breaking him
down. He advanced with staggering steps.
The indentations were more shallow now. The point where he had begun to
break through the snow crust, because of the softening snow, was passed
long ago: only because he was in a valley sheltered from the wind were
the tracks manifest at all.
The time came at last when he could no longer get upon his feet. And
now, like a Tithonus who could not die, he crawled along the snowshoe
trail on is hands and knees. "I can't go on," he told himself. "I'm
through!" Yet always his muscles made one movement more.
Suddenly he missed the trail. His hand groped in vain over the white
crust. He crept on a few more feet, then as ever, began to circle.
Soon his hand found an indentation in the snow crust, and he started to
creep forward again.
But slowly the conviction grew upon him that he was crawling in a small
circle,--the very circle he had just made. Some way, he had missed
the snowshoe trail. He did not remember how on his journey out he had
once been obliged to backtrack a hundred yards and start on at a new
angle. He had merely come to that point from which he had turned back.
He could not find the trail because he was at its end.
He could not remember that it was his own trail. How he came here, his
purpose and his destination, were all lost and forgotten in the
intricate mazes of the past. He had but one purpose, one theme,--to
keep to his trail an journey on. He would make a bigger circle. He
started to creep forward in the snow.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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