He nodded. The day passed like those preceding,--simple meals, a few
hours of talk around the fire, such fuel cutting as was necessary to
keep the cabin snug and to provide a supply for the night. This was
their last day in Clearwater,--and Virginia could hardly accept the
truth.
How untrue had been her gayety! In all the white lies of her past, all
the little pretenses that are as much a part of life in civilization as
buildings and streets, she had never been as false to herself as now.
She had never had to act a part more cruel,--that she could feel joy
at the prospect of her departure.
She could deceive herself no longer. The events of the previous day had
opened her eyes--in a small measure at least--and her thoughts
groped in vain for a single anticipation, a single prospect that could
lighten the overpowering weight of her sadness. And the one hope that
came to her was that strange sister of despair,--that back in her old
life, in her own city, full forgetfulness might come to her.
Wasn't it true that she would say good-by to the bitter cold and the
snow wastes? Was there no joy in this? Yet these same solitudes had
brought her happiness that, though now to be blasted, had been a
revelation and a wonder that no words could name or no triumphs of the
future could equal. The end of her adventure,--and she felt it might
as well be the end of her life. Three little days of bitter hardship,
Bill tramping at her side,--and then a long, dark road leading nowhere
except to barren old age and death.
Never again would she know the winter forest, the silence and the
mystery, and the wolf pack chanting with infinite sadness from the hill.
The North Wind, a reality now, would be a forgotten myth: she would
forget that she had seen the woodland caribou, quivering with
irrepressible vigor against the snowfields. The thrill, the
exhilaration of battle, the heat of red blood in her veins would be
strangers soon: the whole adventure would seem like some happy,
impossible dream. Never to hear a friendly voice wishing her good
morning, never a returning step on the threshold, the touch of a strong
hand in a moment of fear! She was aghast and crushed at the realization
that this man was going out of her life forever. She would leave him to
his forests,--their shadows hiding him forever from her gaze.
She found it hard to believe that she could fit into her old niche.
Some way, this northern adventure had changed the very fiber of her
soul. She could find no joy at the thought of the old gayeties she had
once loved, the beauty and the warmth. Was it not true that Harold
would go out beside her, the lover of her girlhood? His uncle would
start him in business; her course with him would be smooth. But her
hands were cold and her heart sick at the thought.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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