If a Hottentot taught a Hottentot tot To talk ere the tot could totter, Ought the Hottentot tot be taught to say "ought," Or "naught," or what ought to be taught her? If to hoot and to toot a Hottentot tot Be taught by a Hottentot tutor, Ought the Hottentot tutor get hot if the tot Hoot and toot at the Hottentot tutor? G. B. * * * "NATURE NEVER DID DECEIVE..." No sooner had blundering man accomplished the ruin of Halifax than Mother Nature sent a blizzard with a foot or two of snow. A kindly dame--as kindly as the old lady of Endor. She has her gentle, her amorous moods, in which we adore her, and write ballads to her beauty; but we know, if we are wise, that her beauty is "all in your eye," to speak in the way of science, not of slang, and that she is savage as a jungle cat. Like some women and much medicine, she should be well shaken before taken, and always one must keep an eye upon Nature, or one may feel her claws in one's back. So we have reflected on a summer's day in woods; but the forest seemed not less beautiful, nor was our meditation melancholy. To be saddened by the inescapable is a great mistake. * * * NO. 68, COUNTING FROM LEFT TO RIGHT. [From the Goshen, Ind., Democrat.] Albert E. Compton, 68, a former well known Elkhart taxi driver, went to California last summer and told his friends he was going into the movies. A communication from him yesterday informed them of his appearance in a mob scene. * * * "Mrs. Fred L. Olson is on the programme to sing vocal selections."--Portland Telegram. That's the trouble. They will sing them. * * * Our young friend who is about to become a colyumist might lead off with the jape about the switchman who asked for red oil for his lantern. Then there is that side-stitching sign, "Pants pressed, 10 cents a leg, seats free." * * * COMMERCIAL CANDOR. Sir: A tailor in Denver advertises: "If your clothes don't fit we make them." W. V. R. * * * Heard, by R. M., in a department store: Shoe-polish demonstrator: "And if you haven't already ruined your shoes with other cleaners this will do the work." * * * FAREWELL! (_By Poeta._) Comet, Comet, shining bright In the spaces of the night, Every hour swinging higher From the Sun of thy desire; Astral vagrant, stellar rover, Dipping under, dipping over Path of Venus, Earth, and Mars Till there's naught beyond but stars; Cutting, in thy lane elliptic, Thro' the plane of the ecliptic, Far beyond pale Neptune's track-- Good-by, Comet! Hurry back! * * * AN UNCOMMONLY HAPPY THOUGHT. (_A. J. Balfour, Letter to Mary Gladstone, 1891._) "It is unfortunate, considering that enthusiasm moves the world, that so few enthusiasts can be trusted to speak the truth." * * *