American wit and humor; Newspapers -- Sections, columns, etc. -- Excerpts
There are so many interesting things along the way that I should, I
suppose, be filling a notebook. But why mar the pleasure of a journey by
taking notes? as the good Sylvestre Bonnard inquired. Lovers who truly
love do not keep a diary of their happiness.
* * *
In Phoenix, Arizona, distance lends enchantment to the view. But the
hills are far away, and as I did not visit the Southwest to contemplate
the works of man, however ingenious, I followed the westering sun to
where the mountains come down to the sea. I do not fancy the elevated
parts of New Mexico and Arizona; and as there was no thought of pleasing
me when they were created, I feel free to express a modified rapture in
their contemplation. I should have remembered enough geology to know
that granite is not found in this section, except at the bottom of the
Grand Canyon. The hills I like are made of old-fashioned stuff, not
young upstart tufa and sandstone that was not thought of when the
Laurentians were built. One really cannot have much respect for a rock
that he can kick to pieces. The gay young buttes in this land of quickly
shifting horizons are not without their charm; they look well in
certain lights, and they are decidedly better than no hills at all.
Although immature, they have an air of pretending to be very ancient, to
be the ruins of mountains. They are picturesque and colorful. And I
would swap a league of them for one archaic boulder the size of a
box-car, with a thick coverlet of reindeer moss.
* * *
When I left the train at Pasadena I saw what I took to be a procession
of the K. K. K. It proved to be citizens in flu masks. I was interested,
but not alarmed; whereas a lady tourist who debarked on the following
day fell in a swoon and was conveyed to the hospital. The newspapers
charged her disorder to the masks, but as she was from Chicago I suspect
that her reason was unsettled by the sudden revealment of a clean city.
And Pasadena is clean--almost immaculate. I was obliged to join the
masqueraders, and I found the inconvenience only slight. The mask keeps
the nose warm after sundown, and is convenient to sneeze into. And I
have never remarked better looking folks than the people of Pasadena.
The so-called human race has never appeared to better advantage. The
women were especially charming, and were all, for once, equally
handicapped, like the veiled sex in the Orient.
* * *
Whoever christened it the Pacific ocean was the giver of innocent
pleasure to every third person who has set eyes on it since. "There's
the Pacific!" you hear people exclaim to one another when the train
reaches the top of a pass. "Isn't it calm! That's why it is called the
Pacific. And it is pacific, isn't it?" Some such observation must have
escaped the stout adventurer in Darien, before he fell silent upon his
peak.
* * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account