--George Crabbe. But let me not entirely overlook The pleasure gathered from the rudiments Of geometric science. --Wordsworth. Israel in ancient days Not only had a view Of Sinai in a blaze, But heard the Gospel too. --Cowper. Flashed from his bed the electric message came; He is no better; he is much the same. --A Cambridge prize poem. * * * A household hinter advises that "if the thin white curtains blow into the gas and catch fire sew small lead weights into the seams." Before doing this, however, it would be wise to turn in an alarm. * * * The orchestra was playing too loud to suit the manager, so he complained to the leader. "The passage is written in forte," said the latter. "Well, make it about thirty-five." * * * SEIZE HIM, SCOUTS! Sir: I submit for the consideration of the new school of journalism the following, recently perpetrated by an aspiring young journalist: "Information has been received that Mrs. Blank, who was spending a vacation of several weeks in Colorado, was killed in an automobile accident over long distance telephone by her husband." Calcitrosus. * * * "THAT'S GOOD." Sir: A man and three girls were waiting for the bus. The driver slowed up long enough to call, "Full house!" "Three queens!" responded the waiting cit, and turned disgustedly away. X. T. C. * * * WHY BANK CLERKS ARE TIRED. Sir: Voice over the telephone: "Please send me two check books." B. C.: "Large or small?" V. o. t. t.: "Well, I don't write such very large checks, but sometimes they amount to a hundred dollars." Jane. * * * "Why not make room for daddy?" queries the editor of the Emporia Gazette, with a break in his voice. Daddy, we hardly need say, is the silently suffering member of the household who hasn't a large closet all to himself, with rows of, shiny hooks on which to hang his duds. Ah, yes, why not make room for daddy? It is impossible to contemplate daddy's pathetic condition without bursting into tears. Votes for women? Huh! Hooks for men! * * * "NATION-WIDE." How anybody can abide That punk expression, "nation-wide"-- How one can view unhorrified That vile locution, nation-wide, I cannot see. I almost died When first I spotted nation-wide. On every hand, on every side, On every page, is nation-wide. To everything it is applied; No matter what, it's nation-wide. The daily paper's pet and pride: They simply dote on nation-wide. It seems if each with t'other vied To make the most of nation-wide. No doubt the proof-room Argus-eyed Approves the "style" of nation-wide.