American wit and humor; Newspapers -- Sections, columns, etc. -- Excerpts
Abner Skipp kissed his wife affectionately, and presently the house was
dark and still. Mrs. Skipp, worn out by the day's work, went quickly to
sleep; but Abner, haunted by the mortgage, passed a restless night.
Several times he fancied he heard a noise in the cellar, as if the
expressman were dumping another ton of books into the bin. At last, just
before dawn, there came a loud thump, as if a volume of Herbert
Spencer's Autobiography had fallen to the floor. Getting out of bed
quietly so that his weary wife should not be disturbed, Abner went to
the cellar stairway and listened.
A clicking sound was distinctly audible, and a faint light gleamed
below.
IV.
Cautiously descending the stair, Abner Skipp came upon so strange a
sight that with difficulty he restrained himself from crying out his
astonishment. Little Harold was seated before a queer mechanism, which
resembled a typewriter, spinning wheel, and adding machine combined,
engaged in turning the tons of books around him into reviews, as the
miller's daughter spun the straw into gold, in the ancient tale of
"Rumpelstiltzkin."
"Child, what does this mean?" cried the bewildered Abner Skipp.
"Father," replied Harold, "I am lifting the mortgage. Not long ago I saw
among the advertisements in the Saturday Home Herald an announcement of
a Magic Kit for book reviewers, with a capacity of 300 books per hour.
Fortunately I had enough money in my child's bank to pay the first
installment on this wonderful outfit which came to-day. Is it not a
marvelous invention, father? Even Grandpa could work it!" Trembling with
eagerness Abner Skipp bent over the Magic Kit, while little Harold
explained the working of the various parts.
To review a book all that was necessary was to press a few keys, pull a
lever or two, and the thing was done. Reviewing by publisher's slip was
simplicity itself; the slips were dropped into a hopper, and presently
emerged neatly gummed to sheets of copy paper; and if an extract from
the book were desired, a page was quickly torn out and fed in with the
slip. Reviewing by title page was almost as rapid. The operator
type-wrote the title, author's name, publisher, price, and number of
pages, and then pulled certain levers controlling the necessary words
and phrases, such as--
"This latest work is not likely to add to the author's reputation"; or--
"The book will appeal chiefly to specialists"; or--
"An excellent tale to while away an idle hour"; or--
"The book is attractively bound and is profusely illustrated."
"Father," said little Harold, his face glowing, "to-morrow we will hire
a furniture van and take all these books to the city."
"My boy," cried Abner Skipp, folding his little son in his arms, "you
are the little fairy in our home. Surely no other could have done this
job more neatly or with greater dispatch; and no fairy wand could be
more wonder-working than this truly Magic Kit."
A LINE-O'-TYPE OR TWO
_"Fay ce que vouldras."_
TO B. L. T.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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