American wit and humor; Newspapers -- Sections, columns, etc. -- Excerpts
"It is a great misfortune," says Lloyd George, "that the Irish and the
English are never in the same temper at the same time." Nor is that
conjuncture encouragingly probable. But there is hope. Energy is
required for strenuous rebellion, and energy is converted into heat and
dissipated. If, or as, the solar system is running down, its stock of
energy is constantly diminishing; and so the Irish Question will
eventually settle itself, as will every other mess on this slightly
flattened sphere.
* * *
Whenever you read about England crumbling, turn to its automobile Blue
Book and observe this: "It must be remembered that in all countries
except England and New Zealand automobiles travel on the wrong side of
the road."
* * *
The first sign of "crumbling" on the part of the British empire that we
have observed is the welcome extended to the "quick lunch." That may get
'em.
* * *
_LOST AND FOUND._
[Song in the manner of Laura Blackburn.]
_Whilst I mused in vacant mood
By a wild-thyme banklet,
Love passed glimmering thro' the wood,
Lost her golden anklet._
_Followed I as fleet as dart
With the golden token;
But she vanished--and my heart,
Like the clasp, is broken._
_Such a little hoop of gold!
She ... but how compare her?
Till Orion's belt grow cold
I shall quest the wearer._
_Next my heart I've worn it since,
More than life I prize it,
And, like Cinderella's prince,
I must advertise it._
* * *
Would you mind contributing a small sum, say a dollar or two, to the
Keats Memorial Fund. We thought not. It is a privilege and a pleasure.
The object is to save the house in which the poet lived during his last
years, and in which he did some of his best work. The names of all
contributors will be preserved in the memorial house, so it would be a
nice idea to send your dollar or two in the name of your small child or
grandchild, who may visit Hampstead when he grows up. Still standing
in the garden at Hampstead is the plum tree under which Keats wrote,
"Thou wast not born for death, immortal Bird!
No hungry generations tread thee down."
* * *
Americans who speak at French should confine their conversation to other
Americans similarly talented. They should not practise on French people,
whose delicate ear is no more proof against impure accent than a stone
is proof against dripping water. The mistake which English speaking
people make is assuming that French is merely a language, whereas, even
in Paris, the speaking of it as much as accomplishment as singing, or
painting on china. Many gifted Frenchmen, like M. Viviani, Anatole
France, and some other Academicians, speak French extremely well, but
even these live in hope of improvement, of some day mastering the
finest shades of nasality and cadence, the violet rays of rhythm.
* * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account