"You never said a truer word, Aaron. It allus was true. It allus will
be true. It's just as true to-day as when Henery Holmes tackled old
Gilbert Spoonholler, as when Isaac Bolum yander argyed with Luke
Lampson that five times eleven was forty-five; as when you refused to
admit to the same kind teacher that Harrisburg was the capital of
Pennsylwany."
"And as to-day when William Belkis--" Theophilus Jones was acting
strangely. He was bowing politely at me.
I was mystified. Why at a time like this I should be treated as a
subject of so much distinction was a puzzle, and I was about to demand
an explanation, when Josiah Nummler interrupted.
"It's true," he said. "Teachers ain't changed and the boys ain't
changed. I'm eighty year old within a week, and all my life I've heard
boys blowin' about how they was goin' to lick the teacher, and I've
heard old men tell how they done it years and years before--but I've
never seen an eye-witness--what I wants is an eye-witness."
"You've been talkin' to Elmer Spiker," said Henry Holmes, plaintively.
"He's convinced you. He'd convince anybody of anything. He's got me
so dad-twisted I can't mind no more whether I went to school even."
"You never showed no signs, Henery." Isaac Bolum spoke very quietly.
"I guess you otter know it as well as anybody," Henry retorted angrily.
"Your ma was allus askin' me to take care of you, and you was a
nuisance, too, you was, Isaac. You was allus a-blubberin' and
a-swallerin' somethin'. You mind the time you swallered my copper
cent, don't you? You mind the fuss your ma made to my ma about it,
don't you? Why, she formulated regular charges that I 'tempted to
pizon you--she did, and----"
"Don't rake up them old, old sores," said Josiah Nummler soothingly,
"Ike'll give you back your copper cent, Henery."
"All Ike's property to-day ain't as val'able to me now as that cent was
then," Mr. Holmes answered solemnly. "It was the val'ablest cent I
ever owned. I never expect to have another I'd hate so to see
palpitatin' in Isaac Bolum's th'oat between his Adam's apple and his
collar-band."
"We're gittin' away from the subject," said Josiah. "You're draggin'
up a personal quarrel between you and Isaac Bolum, when we was
discussin' the great problem that confronts every scholar in his
day--that of thrashin' the teacher."
"It's a problem no scholar ever solved in the history of this walley,
anyway," declared Elmer Spiker.
"It ain't on the records," said Kallaberger.
"There are le-gends," Isaac Bolum said. He pointed at Henry Holmes
with his thumb. "Sech as his."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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