He had crept up to his room in a sulk and undressed himself. He had
grown so accustomed to it that he could not sleep now when Cilia did
not tell him something first. Then he fell into such a quiet sleep, and
dreamt so beautifully of wide stretches of heather covered with red
blossoms, and of quiet waters near which the fen-fowls screeched, which
he went out to shoot.
Oh, that Cilia, what was the matter with her to-day? How stupid!
"The mistress is going to give me notice." Nonsense, as if he would
stand that. And he clenched his hand.
Then the door creaked.
He craned his neck forward: was it she? Was she coming, after all?
It was his mother. He slipped hastily into bed and drew the covering up
to his forehead. Let her think he was already asleep.
But she did not think so and said: "So you're still awake?" and she
sat down on the chair near his bed on which his things were. Cilia
always sat there too. He compared the two faces in silence. Oh, Cilia
was much prettier, so white and red, and she had dimples in her fat
cheeks when she laughed, and she was so jolly. But his mother was not
ugly either.
He looked at her attentively; and then suddenly a hitherto quite
unknown feeling came over him: oh, what narrow cheeks she had. And the
soft hair near her temples--was--was----
"You're getting quite grey," he said all at once, quite dismayed,
and stretched out his finger. "There, quite grey."
She nodded. A look of displeasure lengthened her delicate face, and
made it appear still narrower.
"You should laugh more," he advised. "Then people would never see
you had wrinkles."
Wrinkles--oh yes, wrinkles. She passed her hand over her forehead
nervously. What uncharitable eyes children had. Youth and beauty had no
doubt disappeared for ever--but it was this boy who had deprived her of
the last remnant of them. And it sounded like a reproach as she said:
"Sorrow has done that. Your serious illness and--and----" she
hesitated: should she begin now about what troubled her so?"--and many
other things," she concluded with a sigh.
"I can understand that," he said naively. "You're so old, too."
Well, he was honest, she had to confess that; but he said it without
a trace of tender feeling. She could not suppress a slight irritation;
it was not pleasant to be reminded of your age by your child. "I'm not
so old as all that," she said.
"Oh, I don't mean either that you're _very_ old. But still much
older than Cilia, for example."
She winced--he always brought in that person.
"Cilia is a pretty girl, don't you think so, mother?"
She got so angry that she lost control of herself. "Do you think
so?" she said curtly, rising. "She's leaving on the first of
October."
"She's leaving? Oh no!" He stared at her incredulously.
"Yes, yes." She felt she was cruel, but could she be otherwise? His
disbelieving tone expressed such terror. "She's leaving. I'm going to
give her notice."
"Oh no, you won't." He laughed. "You won't do that."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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