Kate was filled with a strange emotion, and her pulse quickened as
she helped him to put on his new suit. So far he had always been
dressed like a boy, in knickers and a sailor blouse, now he was to be
dressed like a man all at once. The festive black suit of fine cloth
did not suit him; for the first time one noticed that he was thick-set.
He stood there stiffly, he felt cramped in the trousers, the coat was
uncomfortable, too: he looked miserable.
"Look at yourself, just look at yourself," said Kate, pushing him in
front of the glass.
He looked into it. But he did not see the clothes, he only saw his
mother's face as she looked into the glass at the same time as he, and
he saw they had not a single feature in common.
"We're not a bit alike," he murmured.
"Hm? What did you say?" She had not understood him.
He did not answer.
"Don't you like the suit?"
"It's awful!" And then he stared at himself absently. What had they
been saying again that morning? They had been jeering at him, Lehmann
and von Kesselborn, who were to be confirmed with him. Was it because
their fathers were not so rich as his? Kesselborn's father was a
retired officer, who now filled the post of registrar, but Kesselborn
was terribly proud of his "von"; and Lehmann was his bosom friend.
However, he had told them that he had already had a silver watch since
he was eight years old, and that he was to have a real gold one for his
confirmation, which he would then wear every day--that had vexed them
awfully.
It was before the lesson had commenced--they were all three
waiting--and Kesselborn had suddenly said: "Schlieben gives himself
airs," and had then turned to him and said: "You needn't be so
stuck-up." And then Lehmann had added, also quite loudly so that
everybody must have heard it: "Don't put on so much side, we know all
about it."
"What do you know?" He had wanted to jump on Lehmann like a tiger,
but the clergyman had just then come in and they began prayers. And
when the lesson, of which he had hardly heard anything--he heard the
other words all the time--was over, he had wanted to tackle
Kesselborn and Lehmann, but they had been sitting near the door, and
had already gone before he could get out of his bench. He did not see
them again. But he noticed glances in which there was a certain
curiosity and spitefulness--or did he only imagine it? He was not quite
sure about it, and he had not thought any more about it either. But now
when he saw his mother's face so close to his in the glass, he suddenly
remembered it all again. And it all came back to him, plumped like a
stone into his thoughts.
"I'm not at all like you," he said once more. And then he watched
her face: "Not like father either."
"Oh yes," she said hastily, "you are very much like your
father."
"Not the slightest bit."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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