This was her hour of freedom, precious to her as gold, the only one
that she had entirely to herself in the course of the whole day. She
hurried first to the Augustus Bridge, offered her face to the breezes
that blew there from every point of the compass, and watched the water
rolling under her feet. Next she flew along the bank, like a whirlwind,
for she wanted to take in as many fresh impressions and pictures as she
could, before creeping back into the connubial yoke. Everything that
happened in this blessed hour was fraught with significance.
It was all experience, all happiness--the rosy early morning mist
hanging over the hills and descending in golden shafts on to the river;
the jangle of bells from the Altstadt; the first coy bursting of the
buds on the russet boughs; the big waggons rumbling to market; the
hissing of the swaying electric wires overhead when a tramcar passed.
On these excursions she might even indulge in shop-gazing, as there was
no fear of Nemesis in the shape of a present. How greedily she gloated
over pictures and _objets d'art_!
And now all this was to end. It was over. The gates through which she
escaped for one single hour from the perfumed idleness and hothouse
closeness of her gilded prison clanged behind her. But so pliable and
yielding was her nature that not once in the secret depths of her heart
did she complain. He wished it, and that was enough. Such powers of
love lay idle within her, crying out for employment, that at this
period of inward struggle she was obliged, whether she liked it or not,
to give him a double share of tenderness, even whether her thoughts
were with him or cantering off on a secret path of dreams.
She was his slave, his plaything, his attentive audience. She valeted
him, praised his personal beauty, massaged his thighs with salves,
arranged the hare-skin on his loins to charm away his gout, gave him
his carbonate of soda to correct indiscretions in diet, dressed his
grizzled locks with a hairwash, the pungent odour of which turned her
sick, and looked on, giving him the benefit of her artistic taste and
advice, while he tinted his moustache. And she did it all with eager
zeal and naive self-reliance, as if in tending and coaxing him she had
found the very aim and end of her existence.
In the process, however, he became divested for her of every rag of his
godlike attributes, so that nothing was left but a once soldierly,
though now vain, and capricious man--mentally effete, for all his
vaunted intellect; brutal, for all his refined tastes, with his
appetites prematurely sated and enervated.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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