Then Lilly told her that too--of her sacred responsibility with regard
to his life, of the influence her love had upon him, awaking him to
higher and purer things, and how she would be answerable with the last
drop of blood in her veins for his ascent to a noble plane of
endeavour, where his work, inspired by her, would bear fruit and not be
wasted.
It was Fraeulein von Schwertfeger's turn to be astounded, and she
listened to her with distended, incredulous eyes, paced the room
excitedly, and murmured to herself, "It's unbelievable! unbelievable!"
And when Lilly asked her what was unbelievable, she kissed her on the
forehead and said, "You poor, poor thing!"
"Why poor?" asked Lilly.
"Because you are bound to suffer in this life."
Hereupon it was settled that Anna would speak to him once more herself,
and, as the price of her silence, require from him the breaking off of
every sort of relation between them. Not even the rides would be
permitted. Lilly pleaded for the writing of one single letter of
farewell. That, she thought, she owed him in order that he should not
be cast into despair about her and his future.
Then they separated. Lilly ran upstairs; elated, redeemed, borne on the
wings of new hopes, she cast all precautions to the winds, but, thank
God, the colonel was still snoring.
The clocks struck four, and the clodhopping step of the stable-boy was
already heard in the yard. Before she flung herself into bed she
allowed herself one farewell look across at the bailiff's lodge and
rejoiced that renunciation was so easy.
CHAPTER XXIII
"DEAREST HERR VON PRELL,
"You will have concluded from what has happened that all must be over
between us. Yes, everything has come to an end. We shall never meet
again except at table. If you ask whether this makes me sad I will be
brave and say 'No,' in the hope that it will cause you to feel our
parting less. But the question is not whether we find it difficult or
easy. We have to consider whether our feelings in the matter are
elevating and humanly disinterested. True self-sacrifice must be the
keystone of our lives. Yes, I expect from you the nobility of
renunciation. The whole of our future must be dedicated to memories
alone. Are we ever likely to enjoy again such exquisite hours as we
have spent together? I have done with thoughts of happiness, and so
must you too. Henceforth my one sacred duty will be my husband's
welfare, and I must request you to devote all the energy you are
capable of to the reordering of your life. You know life is a very
sacred thing. I feel that it is so, since I have had a kind woman
friend to set me on the right road, and I want you to feel it too.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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