"Nevertheless, I cannot be grateful enough to fate for having thrown in
my path so touchingly virtuous and lamblike a guardian angel as my
baronissima. You will readily understand, most dear and too-kind lady,
that I now feel an obligation on my side to act as guardian angel to
you. How is it to be done? There are difficulties in the way,
certainly. Were I to commend you to the care of my former friends and
equals, your future, I am afraid, would be settled too easily, 'For,
still, leaves and virtues ever fall in hours of tenderness.'
"For this reason I prefer to descend a degree lower, to where citizens
crawl on their stomachs before our coronets, even if they be tarnished
and dented.
"In Alte Jakobstrasse in Berlin there dwells a highly respectable
manufacturer of bronze wares, by name Richard Dehnicke. He was a
comrade of the Reserve, and feels himself particularly indebted to me
because I borrowed money from him on more than one occasion. I am
writing to him by the same mail as this. Go boldly in among his lamps
and vases. The former I trust will illumine your nights, and the latter
ornament your path through life. He will not, I believe, demand the
price from you which others of our compatriots customarily consider
their due where pretty women are concerned.
"There must be some cranks in the world, I suppose.
"My address in future will be--
"W. v. P.
"Street-loafer and Fortune's aspirant,
"Chicago (first stockyard on the left).
"PS.--Tommy would send his love, only I took care to plant a bullet in
his forehead before leaving."
Lilly took this last and only communication from her comrade very
calmly. She heard afterwards through Fraeulein von Schwertfeger that he
had sailed for America with a maimed arm. As he could think of her
without bitterness or reproach, so she would try to think of him. Their
love deserved honourable burial, even if its raptures had been a sham,
and its elevated sentiments dragged through the dirt in shame.
He would like to be her "guardian angel," the dear little man had
written. Well, anyhow, his letter offered a certain guarantee of
protection in time of trouble, and indicated where a helping hand would
be held out to her. But the course he advised she had no thought of
adopting. Never would she avail herself of that helping-hand. She was
in deadly terror of desirous masculine eyes reading her face, of
masculine lips pouring out persuasive and convincing arguments.
She would take her fate in her own hands and go her own way. Whither it
would lead her of course was not clear. In truth, grief and anxiety had
rendered her so irresolute, that it needed but a breath of wind to
drift her in a direction that would have decided her future once for
all. The breath of wind, however, did not blow on her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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