"I am quite astonished," he said, "that, after knocking about with this
ribald crew for over two years, your eyes do not betray you."
"How should they?" she asked.
"Kindly look one moment at the women collected here"--and he indicated
with his finger Frau Jula, Welter, and Karla, and two or three more.
"How they roll their eyes! how they look up under them! All that is the
lingo of ... I was going to say vice; but I detest expressions that are
so guiltless of nuances, so I will say instead, the lingo of a criminal
phantasy. Do you understand?"
"I think so," murmured Lilly.
"Now you, my dearest lady, still retain something of the childlike
innocence of former years in your glance. Not all, but something. A
_soupcon_ of contempt has crept in. No, contempt is not exactly the
right word. On the outskirts of deserts there are certain salt pools
that are green, dark, and empty, because the ground is poisoned. Do you
grasp what I mean?"
"I'm not sure that I do," she said.
"All the same, it's marvellous. Your soul seems to be a filter; it only
assimilates what it likes. Or perhaps you have a private source of
succour to draw on that puts you on a higher plane than us, some
crystallised immovable ideal ... some fixed star to shoot at ... some
sublime Song of Songs."
Lilly started so violently that a low cry escaped her lips, loud
enough, however, to attract the eyes of the company towards her.
"I have only trodden on this lady's foot," explained Dr. Salmoni, "and
she was ingenuous enough to think I did it by mistake."
Everyone laughed.
"A joke sufficiently clumsy to satisfy them," he said in a whisper,
leaning close to her shoulder. "I'll make believe not to have heard
your involuntary confession. I only value intended avowals. I am not
going to ask you to-night, as I asked you once before, what you are
doing here. I ask instead: What have you got to lose here? And I can
give the answer myself directly: Your style--your style stands in
peril. You are on the brink of losing your style, and becoming
guiltless of style, and that is a misfortune and a crime at the same
moment. Style is to me equivalent to virtue, greatness, sincerity,
religion, power, and a few other things all combined--a divine quality.
Keep to your last, spiritually and physically. There is _line_ in that;
an excellent thing to preserve. Swing yourself up, if you like, to the
peaks of a healthy and joyous viciousness--_tant mieux_. You can either
dress your hair like a nun's or let it float over the pillow like a
bacchante's--but be sure which you decide on."
"I think just now that you pleaded the cause of nuances," Lilly said,
feeling her wits sharpened by his, "and now you are talking
platitudes."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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