Lilly was no longer nervous and in doubt. Her soreness of heart and
disappointment had vanished. She felt nothing but a cold calculating
curiosity. She followed his every movement with calm amazement, as he
passed his hand over his glossy bushy hair and hitched up his trousers
to display his silk socks with red clocks. And all the time she kept
saying to herself, "So this is what you are! This!"
And then he began to talk in his low deliberate caressing voice, while
his piercing eyes wandered up and down her. "You are excited, my dear
child, and I am not astonished. When two people such as we are find
themselves for the first time absolutely alone together, they are apt
to betray their emotions. Don't be ashamed of yours.... The tie that
has bound us together is so subtle and delicate an understanding--the
magnetic fluid between us is of such a rare and fleeting nature--"
"Yes, very fleeting," thought Lilly---- "that it really would be a pity
if we did not taste and enjoy it to the dregs. Any restraint of feeling
might easily prove a hindrance on your side, as well as on my own, to
the full rapture of this hour of spiritual hedonism."
He almost smacked his lips as he said this, and rocked from side to
side. Lilly thought of the refrain of a Viennese song in her
repertoire: "I have much too much feeling."
"_He_ has much too much," she said to herself, and she could not help a
smile flitting across her face.
He saw the smile, which she tried to hide by bending her head, and he
misinterpreted it.
"There is a delightful virginal coyness about you," he said, with an
admiring oscillation of his head, "that never fails to excite my
wonder."
"Oh, you mountebank!" thought Lilly, and smiled again.
Now he was slightly perplexed, for his wide and varied experience had
taught him something. He shot at her from under his lids a glance of
suspicion and thwarted greed.
"Or have you," he continued, "kept over for to-day some of the
charmingly graceful humour which you developed last night with such
unexpected _elan_?"
"I may have," she replied, with an upward glance which was almost arch.
"Most excellent!" he cried, his face breaking into a roguish smile in
which there was a touch of devilry. "Are you, then, one of those who
know how to laugh in your sleeve at--how shall I express it?--the whole
farce and hypocrisy of it all ... at yourself too, my child--at
yourself, mind; that is the main point, ... If so, you and I are one,
one in body and soul ... nothing divides us any more ... then ..."
"God forgive me!" she thought, and held her handkerchief pressed
against her lips to stop her giggling. Had not Frau Jula said, "Laugh
at him; laugh at him pitilessly with all your might"?
For his part he seemed to accept her suppressed laughter as an
allurement, a gentle signal to cut short ceremonious preliminaries, for
he chose this moment for springing at her and laying his arms about her
waist.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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