He seemed gradually to come to life. He put on his hat and emerged
from behind the tree-trunk. "Now he is going to speak to me," she
thought, and she felt a sickening dread. But no! He lifted his hat,
threw her one more long, questioning, earnest look--almost a look of
recognition--walked past her, and took the path she had come by.
Lilly, too, would have liked to walk on, but she could not make up her
mind, and, not to be caught staring after him, she slipped behind the
same trunk which had lately concealed him from view.
She wondered if he would look back. No, he did not do that, and she
felt somehow hurt and neglected.
Smaller and smaller grew the tall figure. He strode over the sand with
a somewhat heavy step. "He's never been a soldier," she thought. Then
she fancied that he stooped and afterwards turned round. Yes, he was
making quite a wide and careful survey of the landscape, as if bent on
discovering her. But she was safely hidden behind her tree and did not
stir.
Then he walked on again and vanished in a bend in the path.
"A pity I haven't got the carriage," she said to herself.
If she had been driving she could have overtaken him without appearing
to follow him, and the seven-pointed coronet would have duly impressed
him. As it was, he must have formed a bad opinion of her for wandering
about alone, whistling like a boy and throwing stones at amorous
squirrels. Nevertheless, as she made her way homewards she felt as if
some rare and beautiful gift had been bestowed upon her.
Was it possible that she had seen him before? She recalled the young
man she had met in the Pragerstrasse, when she was with her husband in
Dresden; how he had given her the same sort of look with a flash in it
of sad recognition; and how she had wanted to turn round and ask, "Who
are you? Do you belong to me? Would you like me to belong to you?" And
she had forborne to follow her instinct, because to turn round in the
street would have been a crime in the colonel's eyes.
To-day she was free--so free that she could choose her friends as her
heart dictated--and yet she had not followed him, but had let him go,
he who, whether he was that same young man or not, might perchance
belong to her or she to him.
With half-closed eyes she filled in the details of the picture that she
had formed of him. His beard was small, dark, and double-pointed, and
so closely shaven on the cheeks that it appeared only a blue shadow.
Such beards were rarely seen in Berlin, though Italians and Frenchmen
wore them. His lips were full, hard, and firmly closed, as if chiselled
out of marble; his high, square forehead seemed to give him an aspect
of wrath, but not the vulgar wrath of an ordinary mortal towards a poor
creature like herself; it was like the wrath of the gods--divine.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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