"Life is so full of difficulties," he lamented. "You've no idea,
Fraeulein, how full."
Then he told her how they had to deliver extempore orations on subjects
sprung on them, with no preparation, whether they knew anything about
them or not. This time, however, it had leaked out that to-morrow, in
the literature lesson, a comprehensive _revue_ of Rueckert's works would
be demanded. For this reason he wanted to glance through the poems,
because he could not remember exactly who were buried in "The graves at
Ottensen."
Lilly was beside herself with joy. She could help him. She, the little
lowly sparrow, could be of assistance to him, the big soaring eagle.
Timidly she sketched the story of the poor beaten Duke of Brunswick and
the pious poet of "The Messiah." The only thing she could not remember
was who were the twelve hundred exiles who were buried in the first of
the graves.
He appeared incredulous at his unexpected good fortune. Was she
positive? He knew from his tables and history of literature it was all
right about Klopstock, but he shook his majestic head over the rest in
grave doubt. Lilly eagerly set his mind at rest. It was more than a
year since she had left school and had learned all these beautiful
things, but her memory was good and she wouldn't tell him wrong. At
last he seemed convinced. He breathed more freely, and remarked again,
turning his mind to more common things: "Yes, Fraeulein, life is hard,
very hard."
Now that the ice was broken he recounted his likes and dislikes.
Mathematics weren't bad, indeed he had got on very well with Euclid and
geometry. But there were languages, and history, and, worse still,
German composition. Alas! it was a troublesome world, enough to drive
one to despair.
Lilly quite agreed with him. She, too, had little reason to be
satisfied with the way the world wagged, and she expressed her thoughts
about it with passionate eloquence.
"And how you must detest," she concluded, "to be hampered in your high
ambition by the narrow limits of school life."
He looked slightly astonished and then said: "Yes, it's beastly."
"If I were in your place," she told him, "I shouldn't bother at all
about dry facts and dull lessons. I should just follow my own bent,
like the great poets and philosophers."
"That's all very well, my dear Fraeulein, but there's the examination,"
he cried, horrified.
"Oh, never mind stupid examinations. It doesn't matter whether you get
through them or not."
He became excited. "You don't in the least understand, Fraeulein.
Examinations are the entrance to every good position in life, no matter
whether you stay at the university, study law, architecture, or go into
the Civil Service. Not that I should dream of doing the last."
"I should think not, indeed!" she broke in. "A man like you!"
He smiled, well pleased at the flattery.
"I am not going to take the world by storm," he said, "but I have my
dreams, of course. What would a fellow be worth if he hadn't any?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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