The streets of the little town still slept in the peace of the late
winter dawn. The snow had been swept from the middle of the road into
heaps along the gutter. A party of crows sat in a circle round the
frozen fountain in the market-place. From the distance came the faint
music of sleigh-bells. Down the main street boys with satchels were
loitering to school. In some of the smaller shops lights still burned
and apprentices were sweeping and cleaning the steps, their faces blue
with cold. As Lilly went by they stared hard, or called to others
inside to come out and gape after her.
The swinging tread of marching footsteps was behind her. A long train
of infantry, wearing gloves but without cloaks, came tramping along in
the middle of the road. They puffed, in regular time, clouds of frozen
breath before them. Their eyes with one accord turned to the left in
Lilly's direction as if by word of command. The officers, walking
beside their men, exchanged significant glances and shrugged their
shoulders.
She had not far to look for the Catholic church of the parish. The
clumsy stone fabric, with its remnants of Gothic bricked over, stood
high above the roofs of the town. The side aisles were crammed with
altars in barbaric colours, much gilded and adorned with paper roses in
cheap vases. She could not find St. Joseph anywhere, and had to be
content instead with Our Lady of Sorrows, between whom and herself
relations seemed strained.
A feeling of oppression and emptiness, which she could not explain,
took possession of her soul. It was as if she had done something wrong
and didn't know what. She kneeled down and gabbled her prayers so
thoughtlessly that she felt ashamed, then she caught herself absently
eyeing with contentment her _suede_ gloves, which moulded her fingers
with such perfect ease and distinction. Every now and then a shudder
ran through her, which made her shut her eyes and clench her teeth, and
then she felt ashamed again.
Soon she gave up attempting to pray, and gazed up at the Mother of God,
with her tearful face, who appeared to be saying, "Please take these
things out of me." Yet the seven swords piercing her heart were set at
the hilt with pearls and precious stones.
"If only I was really unhappy, I should have some excuse," thought
Lilly. "Then I might talk with her as I used to with St. Joseph, and
the swords in my heart would be costly to behold." As costly as the
pearl necklace he had put round her neck just before the wedding.
She saw herself as she had been two months ago, when she had stolen out
in the grey dawn to lay her poor distraught heart at the feet of her
favourite saint; how soon, with the reaction of youth, she had walked
on air again, intoxicated at the thought of what was coming to her in
the fair future. And all the time she had been actually steeped in
poverty and wretchedness, forsaken and friendless.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account