It was the first time Lilly had ever witnessed a play from a box, and
her first instinct was to hide herself at the back, but she had already
learnt blind obedience to his commands, and when he pointed to the
chair beside him she meekly subsided into it. Then, as she became aware
of the universal notice she attracted, that strange numbness and
feeling of detachment came over her. It seemed to her when she moved,
smiled, or spoke, someone else was doing it all--another person with
whom she herself had only a chance connection.
Not till the lights were lowered and the curtain went up again did she
awake from her lethargy. Then she followed the poet into his enchanted
realms with breathless excitement and delicate thrills of suspense.
After this two Lillies sat in the box--one Lilly in blissful
self-oblivion flitted through heaven and hell on the rainbow wings of
her childhood's phantasy; the other, like a wound-up doll, made stilted
gestures and strove unconsciously to imitate the manners of the
well-bred, feeling all the time a hot sweet torturing sensation
creeping over her, the intoxication of vanity.
Afterwards the colonel, not satisfied with his triumph at the theatre,
instead of having supper as usual served upstairs, went with Lilly on
his arm into the public dining-room where an Hungarian band was
playing, and elegant people supped and displayed their fine feathers.
Here the little drama of the box was enacted over again, save that
Lilly, carried away by the wild dreamy melodies of the violins, let her
awkward shyness drop from her, and expanding a little, with flaming
cheeks and shining eyes, dared to play her small part.
Opposite them, two tables further on, sat a fair young man, with
expansive white shirt-front and black tie, like all the others. He
stared at her with unflinching persistence, as if she were some rare
wild animal.
She writhed under the fire of this gaze, that caressed and hurt her at
the same time and spoke a foreign language to her with the violins, the
notes of which quivered down her spine and throbbed feverishly through
her being.
Suddenly her husband turned round and caught the admirer in the act of
staring. He pierced him with his dagger-like glance to such effect that
the fair-haired man speedily rose and disappeared. But the colonel's
pleasure seemed spoilt. "Come, it's late," he said, and led her away.
As soon as he had her to himself again his pride in his treasure broke
out anew. It became a sort of unbridled frenzy. Lilly had to undress,
as she had often done before, and pose in numerous attitudes, both
classical and the reverse. Then, to wind up, she was compelled to don
the silver-spangled gauze garment, which he had bought for her during
their first days in Dresden, arrayed in which he liked her to dance to
him before going to bed. The metal threads sent ice-cold shivers down
her limbs, and pricked her skin like needles, but as it was his wish,
and his wish was law, she made no demur.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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