In the meantime Von Prell, who at first had been at a complete loss,
arrived at the proper policy to adopt.
"Yes, that's just it," he said, growing more aggrieved with each word.
"Is a love like ours to be concluded with a lukewarm homily? And that
Schwertfeger--did I deserve being dismissed by you like an asthmatic old
dog through the intermediation of a third person, a horrid, disgusting
creature? Isn't it enough to make a man desperate after all he's done
for you?"
"What--did you--do for me?" queried Lilly.
"Well--wasn't I a self-sacrificing comrade the whole time? Wasn't I
disloyal even to my old colonel for your sake, that fine old gentleman,
who saved my life, you might say? You see, all that's no small matter.
Do you suppose it didn't cut me to the quick? Do you suppose I didn't
get the blues? And then to be fooling round here alone night after night
with that dung-beetle, that Tommy--the beast smells, I tell you. So why
not try to dull one's feelings? Shouldn't I--how shall I say?--deaden
the anguish of lost love? Not even deaden it? It's a perfect mystery to
me how you can demand such a thing of me. We speak different languages,
my dear child--there's a yawning chasm dividing our natures--and you're
even willing to risk our two lives for such mummery. As a rule, I'm
_not_ an old aunt, but indeed, if only I had you out of this place."
Throughout this long speech he had walked about Lilly in a semicircle,
with one hand thrust in the belt of his Norfolk jacket, making short,
jerky steps, which forcefully expressed his righteous indignation.
Lilly sat on the sofa stiffly upright, mechanically turning her head
after him now to the right, now to the left, and staring at him with
great, uncomprehending eyes.
When he stopped speaking, he drew a cigarette from the case and
energetically beat off the superfluous tobacco with the index finger of
his left hand.
Lilly rose in all her height, leaving the sofa and the table next to the
sofa far below her.
"Listen, Walter," she said, "from this moment everything between us is
at an end."
"Why, wasn't it long ago?"
"I mean--inwardly, too."
"Oh, inwardly, too!" He made a little grimace. "With you that probably
means if you have something in your stomach."
When Lilly saw her love so ridiculed and mutilated, she could no longer
restrain herself. With an outcry she ran from the sofa, and hid her
face--anywhere at all--on the wall next to the window.
"Get away from the window!" she heard him hiss.
Oh, what did she care!
In the extremity of his fright he took to pleading.
"Just come away from the window," he said. "It was all mere twaddle. I
simply wanted to make you laugh again, nothing more. Please come away
from the window."
She did not budge.
To crawl off somewhere! To crawl away and hide herself and all her
shame.
She felt his hands seize her rudely.
That, too! To suffer violence, too!
She flung him off, wrestled with him, clawed at his neck--
And suddenly--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account