Thus it happened that while Betty was setting out with much excitement,
but that all pleasurable, walking lightly among undiscovered dangers,
Bee was suddenly arrested, as she felt, imprisoned in the little room
looking out upon roofs and backs of houses, thrust aside into a corner
that she might not be seen or her presence known--imperceptibly the
force of the description grew as she went on piling up agony upon agony.
It was some time before, in the commotion of her feelings, she could
bring herself to swallow her tea, and then she walked about the room,
gazed out of the window from which, as it was at the back of the house,
she saw nothing, and found the position more and more intolerable every
minute. A prisoner! she who had been brought here against her will, on
pretence that her presence might save her brother’s life, or something
equally grandiose and impossible--save her brother’s life, bring him
back from despair by the sight of some one that he loved. These were the
sort of words that Mrs. Leigh had said. As if it mattered to Charlie one
way or the other what Bee might think or do! As if he were to be
consoled by her, or stimulated, or brought back to life! She had
affected him involuntarily, undesirably, by her betrayal of the vicinity
of that woman, that witch, who had warped his heart and being. But as
for influencing in her own person her brother’s mind or life, Bee knew
she was as little capable as baby, the little tyrant of the nursery. Oh!
how foolish she had been to come at all, to yield to what was said, the
flattering suggestion that she could do so much, when she knew all along
in her inmost consciousness that she could do nothing! The only thing
for her to do now was to go back to the dull life of which in her
impatient foolishness she had grown so weary, the dull life in which she
was indeed of some use after all, where it was clearly her duty to get
the upper hand of baby, to preserve the discipline of the nursery, to
train the little ones, and keep the big boys in order. These were the
elder sister’s duties, with which nobody could interfere--not any
ridiculous, sentimental, exaggerated idea, as Charlie had said, of what
a woman’s ministrations could do. “Oh, woman, in our hours of ease!”
that sort of foolish, foolish, intolerable, ludicrous kind of thing,
which it used to be considered right to say, though people knew better
now. Bee felt bitterly that to say of her that she was a ministering
angel would be irony, contumely, the sort of thing people said when they
laughed at women and their old-fashioned sham pretences. She had never
made any such pretence. She had said from the beginning that Charlie
would care for none of her ministrations. She had been brought here
against her judgment, against her will, and now she was shut up as in a
prison in order that Aubrey might not be embarrassed by the sight of
her! As if she had wished to see Aubrey! As if it had not been on the
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