She declared that Edward Curtis, instead of giving her a spell to
make Florillda win the Derby, had given her a diabolical something
that had brought out spots all over her face, and that she had to
undergo a most expensive treatment before they could be got rid
of.
In cross-examination, Lady Marjorie Tatler admitted that she had
asked Edward Curtis for a spell that would cause all the horses
running in that particular race, save Florillda, to be taken ill.
For the defence, Gerald Kirby, K.C., explained that his client was
so disgusted at the immorality of Lady Marjorie's request, that he
had purposely given her a spell that would have no effect upon a
horse, and could not possibly bring out spots on her Ladyship's
face. "The spell Edward Curtis gave her," Gerald Kirby said, "was
a mixture of hempseed and sago, flavoured with violet powder, and
my client instructed her Ladyship to wear it next her heart."
(Loud laughter.)
Lady Coralie Mars, the next witness, who declared she had sought a
spell to make the man, she was forced into marrying, fall into a
trance, just before the marriage ceremony was to take place; and
that, instead of bringing this about, the spell Edward Curtis had
sold her had caused her to have St. Vitus's Dance,--was adroitly
trapped into admitting that she had really wanted her fiancé
smitten with paralysis. "A wish," Gerald Kirby announced, with a
dramatic flourish of his hands, "that so aroused my client's
indignation that, instead of giving her the spell she wanted, he
gave her one that would make her affianced husband more than ever
hungry for the marriage hour to arrive. As for St. Vitus's Dance,
would any woman, with an emotional and hysterical-nature, such as
obviously was that of Lady Coralie Mars, ever be free from such a
complaint?"
The Hon. Augusta Mapple, who stated that she had visited the
Modern Sorcery Company, for the purpose of obtaining a spell to
bring about a defeat of the Government, by afflicting the bulk of
their supporters with such bilious attacks as would necessitate
their absence from the House, and that, instead of giving her such
a spell, Edward Curtis had given her one which had caused every
member of her household to fall downstairs--admitted, under
cross-examination, that she had asked for a spell that would make
every supporter of the Government in the House be suddenly seized
with tetanus. "A diabolical request, your lordship," Gerald Kirby
said, "and one to which my client could not possibly accede.
Consequently, as a punishment for such cruelty, he sold her a
spell that would result in her having a sharp attack of toothache.
It could not possibly have produced any of the mishaps she
attributes to it."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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