“I am not Chasters,” said Scrope stiffly, and then relenting: “What he
does may be right for him. But I could not do as he does.”
Lady Ella had said no word for some time.
“I would be ashamed,” she said quietly, “if you had not done as you
have done. I don't mind--The girls don't mind--all this.... Not when we
understand--as we do now.”
That was the limit of her eloquence.
“Not now that we understand, Daddy,” said Clementina, and a faint
flavour of Lady Sunderbund seemed to pass and vanish.
There was a queer little pause. He stood rather distressed and
perplexed, because the talk had not gone quite as he had intended it
to go. It had deteriorated towards personal issues. Phoebe broke the
awkwardness by jumping up and coming to her father. “Dear Daddy,” she
said, and kissed him.
“We didn't understand properly,” said Clementina, in the tone of one who
explains away much--that had never been spoken....
“Daddy,” said Miriam with an inspiration, “may I play something to you
presently?”
“But the fire!” interjected Lady Ella, disposing of that idea.
“I want you to know, all of you, the faith I have,” he said.
Daphne had remained seated at the table.
“Are we never to go to church again?” she asked, as if at a loss.
(17)
Scrope went back into his little study. He felt shy and awkward with his
daughters now. He felt it would be difficult to get back to usualness
with them. To-night it would be impossible. To-morrow he must come
down to breakfast as though their talk had never occurred.... In his
rehearsal of this deliverance during his walk home he had spoken much
more plainly of his sense of the coming of God to rule the world and end
the long age of the warring nations and competing traders, and he had
intended to speak with equal plainness of the passionate subordination
of the individual life to this great common purpose of God and man, an
aspect he had scarcely mentioned at all. But in that little room, in the
presence of those dear familiar people, those great horizons of life
had vanished. The room with its folding doors had fixed the scale.
The wallpaper had smothered the Kingdom of God; he had been, he felt,
domestic; it had been an after-supper talk. He had been put out, too, by
the mention of Lady Sunderbund and the case of Chasters....
In his study he consoled himself for this diminution of his intention.
It had taken him five years, he reflected, to get to his present real
sense of God's presence and to his personal subordination to God's
purpose. It had been a little absurd, he perceived, to expect these
girls to leap at once to a complete understanding of the halting hints,
the allusive indications of the thoughts that now possessed his soul. He
tried like some maiden speaker to recall exactly what it was he had said
and what it was he had forgotten to say.... This was merely a beginning,
merely a beginning.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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