The Southern Literary Messenger, Vol. I., No. 11, July, 1835Various
General
The Southern Literary Messenger, Vol. I., No. 11, July, 1835
Various
American literature -- 19th century -- Periodicals
I was the son of a country clergyman, who, passionately fond of
literature himself, determined to send me into the world with a good
collegiate education. I went through the course of study at the
University of ----, studied hard, graduated with considerable
distinction, and was very fully impressed with the idea that I was a
youth of fine parts and acquirements. On leaving college, I determined
to spend a twelvemonth in recreation and amusement, before I entered
upon the study of a profession.
On my first introduction into the society of the active world, I
expected of course, to command that homage to my superior talents and
acquirements which I thought I so richly merited, and which was so
willingly awarded by the young men at the University of ----. But I
was not only treated with indifference, but contempt. I soon acquired
the character of a conceited coxcomb--a dogmatist without knowledge or
talents. Few of the enlightened part of the community condescended to
converse with me on equal terms; my challenges for argument, in order
to discover my abilities, were disregarded: and I had the
mortification of having the reputation of a fool, without the
opportunity as I thought, of correcting the impression. This treatment
determined me to anticipate the time I had allotted for the
commencement of the study of a profession. The consciousness that I
possessed talents, and the illiberal treatment I conceived I had met
with from the world, excited within me, an ambition of the most
corroding nature. I was determined to extort from an envious world,
that respect which I believed was so unworthily withheld. I had a
restless desire to chalk out my fortunes unassisted. With a single eye
to my purpose, I placed myself somewhat in a hostile attitude to the
world. Such was the uncompromising nature of my pride, and such the
ill-judged confidence in my own abilities, that I enjoyed no man's
friendship, and sought the patronage of none. In two months after I
left the University of ----, I purchased a few books, and commenced
the study of the law. For two years, I gave the most unremitting,
untiring attention to my books. Many nights did I toil over the dry
pages of Coke, until the east was streaked with the approach of
returning day. Many times was my mind so far absorbed, by intense and
abstract thought, that I have been forced suddenly to throw down my
books and count the tiles on the roof of the house, to recall my
aberrated thoughts and prevent absolute derangement. There is always
an exhilaration of feeling which attends mental excitement, that
renders the life of a student happy; and, while my health remained
unimpaired, my hours of study passed pleasantly away. But intense
application began to affect my health, and consequently my spirits; a
melancholy sat continually on my "faded brow." I became unhappy,
without then knowing why; yet I never lost sight of my unalterable
resolve, to make those crouch to my importance, who had once spurned
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