The Southern Literary Messenger, Vol. I., No. 2, October, 1834Various
General
The Southern Literary Messenger, Vol. I., No. 2, October, 1834
Various
American literature -- 19th century -- Periodicals
misery growing too, out of the very source of her happiness. Yes; even
so unmixed, so absorbing was my selfishness. _My_ selfishness! the
selfishness of humanity; for even as the rest of my fellow men so was,
and so am I. I thought of the many hours of delight I had enjoyed in
her presence, of the thousand daily kindnesses I had experienced at her
hand. She alone was wont to partake of my youthful joys, to sympathize
with my boyish griefs; it was her praise that urged me to exertion, the
fear of her censure that restrained me from mischief. And all this was
to pass away, and to pass with her presence too. Never more was my
heart to drink in the sweet light of her eyes; never more would her
soft voice breathe its music in my ear. I felt that I dwelt no longer
in her thoughts; I believed my very image would soon perish from her
memory. Such were the bitter thoughts that weighed down my mind.
I go on spinning out this portion of my tale, no doubt very tediously,
and my readers will perhaps despair of my ever arriving at the end; but
patience, I shall get there by and by. "Bear with me yet a little
while." It is that I shrink from what I have undertaken to narrate,
that I wander into digression; for whatever effect it may have on
others, whose only interest in it will arise from momentary excitement,
on me the fearful casualty I shall describe, has imposed "the grief of
years." Many a pang has my heart experienced in my pilgrimage through
this weary world, and some grievous enough to sustain; time and
occupation, however, have afforded their accustomed remedy, and scars
only are left to mark where the wounds have been. But this, though
inflicted in boyhood's springy days, is festering now; aye now, when
the very autumn of manhood is passed, and the winter of age is
congealing the sources of feeling and of life.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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