The Southern Literary Messenger, Vol. I., No. 7, March, 1835Various
History
The Southern Literary Messenger, Vol. I., No. 7, March, 1835
Various
American literature -- 19th century -- Periodicals
it is true--that I was a thousand times prettier than the flowers I
wore, more sparkling than the jewels, and that I ought to marry a
prince or a nabob, I exulted more in his praise, than in the
flatteries that were still tingling in my ears. Even my aunt's
coolness was a grateful tribute to my self-love--for was it not
occasioned by my transcendency over her less gifted daughters?
But why do I linger on the threshold of events, which, simple in
themselves, stamped my destiny--for time, yea, and for eternity.
It was during a homeward journey, with my uncle, I first met him, who
afterwards became my husband. My whole head becomes sick and my whole
heart faint, as I think what I might have been, and what I am. But I
must forbear. If I am compelled at times to lay aside my pen, overcome
with agony and remorse, let me pause till I can go on, with a steady
hand, and a calmer brain.
Our carriage broke down--it was a common accident--a young gentleman
on horseback, who seemed like ourselves a traveller, came up to our
assistance. He dismounted, proffered every assistance in his power,
and accompanied us to the inn, which fortunately was not far distant,
for my uncle was severely injured, and walked with difficulty, though
supported by the stranger's arm and my own. I cannot define the
feeling, but from the moment I beheld him, my spirit was troubled
within me. I saw, at once, that he was of a different order of beings
from those I had been accustomed to associate with; and there was
something in the heavenly composure of his countenance and gentle
dignity of manner, that rebuked my restless desire for admiration and
love of display. I never heard any earthly sound so sweet as his
voice. Invisible communion with angels could alone give such tones to
the human voice. At first, I felt a strange awe in his presence, and
forgot those artificial graces, for which I had been too much admired.
Without meaning to play the part of a hypocrite, my real disposition
was completely concealed. During the three days we were detained, he
remained with us; and aloof from all temptation to folly, the best
traits of my character were called into exercise. On the morning of
our departure, as my uncle was expressing his gratitude for his
kindness, and his hope of meeting him in town, he answered--and it was
not without emotion--'I fear our paths diverge too much, to allow that
hope. Mine is a lowly one, but I trust I shall find it blest.' I then,
for the first time learned that he was a minister--the humble pastor
of a country village. My heart died within me. That this graceful and
uncommonly interesting young man should be nothing more than an
obscure village preacher--it was too mortifying. All my bright visions
of conquest faded away. 'We can never be any thing to each other,'
thought I. Yet as I again turned towards him, and saw his usually calm
eye fixed on me with an expression of deep anxiety, I felt a
conviction that I might be all the world to him.
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