"Ah ha!" said we, getting particularly nervous, "we begin to understand you. We comprehend. Sit down! You, Joseph M.--that is to say, Joseph N. Miller--have had--that is to say, ought to have had, eh?--and the London Athenæum is--that is to say, it is not, &c.--and--and--and--oh, precisely!" "My _dear_ sir," said Mr. Miller, affectionately, "you are a fool--a confounded fool. Hold your tongue! _This_ is the state of the case. I, Joseph O. Miller, being smitten, as all the world knows, with a passion for autographs, am supposed, in that detestable article to which I am alluding, and which appeared some time ago in the London Athenæum,--am supposed, I say, to have indited sundry epistles, to several and sundry characters of literary notoriety about London, with the sinister design, hope, and intention, of thereby eliciting autograph replies--the said epistles, presumed to be indited by me, each and individually being neither more nor less than one and the same thing, and consisting----" "Yes sir," said we, "and consisting----" "And consisting," resumed Mr. Joseph P. Miller, "of certain silly inquiries respecting the character of certain ----" "Of certain cooks, scullions, and chambermaids," said we, having now some faint recollection of the article alluded to. "Precisely," said our visiter--"of certain cooks, scullions, chambermaids, and boot-blacks." "And concerning whose character you are supposed to be excessively anxious." "Yes, sir--_I_--excessively anxious!--only think of that!--I, Joseph Q. Miller, excessively anxious!" "Horrible!" we ejaculated. "Damnable!" said Mr. M. "But what papers are _these_?" demanded we, taking courage, and eyeing the bundle of MSS. which our friend had thrown upon the table. "Those papers," said Mr. Miller, after a pause, and with considerable dignity of manner, "those papers are, to tell you the truth, the result of some--of some ingenuity on the part of your humble servant. They are autographs--but they are _American_ autographs, and as such may be of some little value in your eyes. Pray accept them--they are entirely at your service. I beg leave, however, to assure you that I have resorted to no petty arts for the consummation of a glorious purpose. No man can accuse _me_, sir, _me_, Joseph R. Miller, of meanness or of superficiality. My letters have invariably been--have been--that is to say, have been every thing they should be. Moreover, they have not been what they should not be. I have propounded no inquiries about scullions. I wrote not to the sublimated Mr. ----, [here we do not feel justified in indicating more fully the name mentioned by Mr. M.] touching a chambermaid, nor to Mr. ----, in relation to a character. On the contrary, I have adapted my means to my ends. I have--I have--in short, sir, I have accomplished many great and glorious things, all of which you shall behold in the sequel." We bowed, and our visiter continued.