She raised her hand to her forehead, and pressed back her hair with a
little movement of impatience, expressive, perhaps, of a great suspense.
She stood idly drumming on the window-sill for a few moments; then, with
a quick little sigh, she went back to the piano. As she moved she gave a
jerk of the head from time to time, as schoolgirls who have too much
hair are wont to do. The reason of this nervous movement was a wondrous
plait of gold reaching far below her waist. Catrina Lanovitch almost
worshipped her own hair. She knew without any doubt that not one woman
in ten thousand could rival her in this feminine glory--knew it as
indubitably as she knew that she was plain. The latter fact she faced
with an unflinching, cold conviction which was not feminine at all. She
did not say that she was hideous, for the sake of hearing a
contradiction or a series of saving clauses. She never spoke of it to
any one. She had grown up with it, and as it was beyond doubt, so was it
outside discussion. All her femininity seemed to be concentrated, all
her vanity centred, on her hair. It was her one pride, perhaps her one
hope. Women have been loved for their voices. Catrina's voice was
musical enough, but it was deep and strong. It was passionate, tender if
she wished, fascinating; but it was not lovable. If the voice may win
love, why not the hair?
Catrina despised all men but one--that one she worshipped. She lived
night and day with one great desire, beside which heaven and hell were
mere words. Neither the hope of the one nor the fear of the other in any
way touched or affected her desire. She wanted to make Paul Alexis love
her; and, womanlike, she clung to the one womanly charm that was
hers--the wonderful golden hair. Pathetic, aye, pathetic--with a grin
behind the pathos, as there ever is.
She sat down at the piano, and her strong, small hands tore the heart
out of each wire. There are some people who get farther into a piano
than others, making the wires speak as with a voice. Catrina Lanovitch
had this trick. She only played a Russian people-song--a simple lay such
as one may hear issuing from the door of any kabak on a summer evening.
But she infused a true Russian soul into it--the soul that is cursed
with a fatal power of dumb and patient endurance. She did not sway from
side to side as do some people who lose themselves in the intoxication
of music. But she sat quite upright, her sturdy, square shoulders
motionless. Her strange eyes were fixed with the stillness of distant
contemplation.
Suddenly she stopped and leaped to her feet. She did not go to the
window, but stood listening beside the piano. The beat of a horse's
hoofs on the narrow road was distinctly audible, hollow and sodden as is
the sound of a wooden road. It came nearer and nearer, and a certain
unsteadiness indicated that the horse was tired.
"I thought he might have come," she whispered, and she sat down
breathlessly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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