She did not give up, however. Partly faithful, partly merely obstinate,
she stuck to her furtive prowling, keeping ever closer to the well-known
Restaurant “à la Paysanne Flamande.” She knew her Georges. A thousand
accidents might take him into this or that street, by rail or car, on
horseback or on foot, but, between noon and two o’clock, there was no
possible error, Georges would be sitting before the best-laid table he
could find, napkin tucked into his buttonhole, saying he had the hunger
of a wolf, making caustic fun of the bill of fare, and standing no
nonsense with the waiter. The celebrated restaurant, entirely a creation
of the War, before which it had led a struggling existence dependent on
a billiard-table and a mixed clientèle, presented a glass swing-door
between two large plate-glass windows, protected by round iron tables
and chairs set among desolate shrubs in boxes. The door opened into a
little-used café-lounge; the eating-room had replaced the billiard-table
on the raised portion of the floor up four steps at the back. Thus the
public in the street could see the legs and half the bodies of the
diners, but not their faces. Outside, a great sign-board, swung
English-fashion on a bracket, depicted an alleged Flemish peasant-woman,
in national costume, with international features, and the immemorial
vulgarity of such efforts. Madeleine never even guessed that the square
of brilliant paint was an allegorical representation of herself, and
would have been much astonished to have been told so.
Two o’clock struck, and half-past, and suddenly she had a physical
qualm. What was it? She realized she was faint with hunger. Together
with the bodily emptiness and dizziness, there rose in her a bitter
wave of disgust and disillusionment. For the second time she set her
teeth. She would not stand it. Careless of the fact that she was doing
what was only done by women of a sort she despised, because she
considered they were driving a dangerous, badly paid trade, she pushed
open the door, walked steadily into the café, and sat down just as the
tables were beginning to go round. It was partly want of food, as she
told herself, but partly, if she had admitted it, the moisture of
desperate vexation in her eyes. She ordered a café crême of an unwilling
waiter, who did not want French people there, in such a way that he
brought it, at once, and properly done. The scalding sips soon revived
her. She began to think, if thinking it can be called. Rather she just
sat and felt. She felt the French equivalents of “I’m fed up with
this”--“I’m going to put an end to it”--whatever It exactly was. Then
less articulately she just felt sore. It was not in her to feel
passively sore, but how to express her feeling by activity she could not
see, at the moment.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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