The old man grunted and left her. In her own room she smiled at her
reflection in the glass. She was looking magnificent, feeling
magnificent. To come from at least some degree of luxury, if not from
home and love, at least from entertainment and admiration, to the bleak
realities of her daily life, did not daunt her Flemish heart. She
unpacked and undressed methodically, passed her hands over that flesh
that had been so generously caressed, and seemed rounded and fortified
by it, and wrapped herself in the hard-worn bed-clothes, warming them
with her vitality. Could Skene, buttoned up in his “British warm,” miles
away on the northern railway, have seen her, he might have been
attracted, he would not have been harrowed or flattered. She had rubbed
off the contact with him by the passage of her hands over herself. She
rubbed him off her soul no less easily. She was at her place in the
Ministry on the morrow, and save that her appearance of well-being
excited desire or envy, created no sensation.
Then as the days passed, very slowly, and all the more surely, reaction
began to set in. She did not analyze it or express it, but it was there.
The old feeling of having been done, cheated! There was the old
void--and Skene, against whom she bore no malice, was partial,
rather--had tried to fill it and failed. It was not in him. Too, well
behaved, too incomprehensible, too English, he had, in fact, not asked
enough of her. She would have felt more at home with him had he been
subject to those moods of feverish desire and cold disgust that she
associated with all that was most admirable in men. For that male
perversity which, when it existed in her father and the Baron, in
“Papa,” and Monsieur Blanquart, in fact in all men, was the very thing
by which war had been brought about, and caused her separation from
Georges--when it appeared in that Georges himself, became simply one of
his attributes. Her “good child” bored her. Her spoiled, imperious one
was what she needed.
* * * * *
The evenings lengthened. February came, and the Bosche retreat. Marie
wrote that she was trying to get back to Laventie, where things were in
a pitiable state, but good land must not be allowed to lie waste. They
despaired of Marcel. Madeleine did not reply to this letter. The farm
and all it had contained seemed very remote. Yet the letter was a
comfort; it brought no bad news, and no news was good news. Already, she
thought again of nothing but Georges. As for any practical plan to find
him, she had long come to the end of the expedients that her not very
strong imagination could devise. She just wanted, and waited.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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