The Spectator, Volume 1: Eighteenth-Century Periodical EssaysSteele, Richard, Sir
General
The Spectator, Volume 1: Eighteenth-Century Periodical Essays
Steele, Richard, Sir
English essays -- 18th century -- Periodicals
Fifteen hundred Pound _per Annum_, as well as of an unblameable Life
and Conversation; yet would not I be the Esquire for half his Estate;
for if it was as much more, he'd freely pare with it all for a pair of
Legs to his Mind: Whereas in the Reign of our first King _Edward_ of
glorious Memory, nothing more modish than a Brace of your fine taper
Supporters; and his Majesty without an Inch of Calf, managed Affairs
in Peace and War as laudably as the bravest and most politick of his
Ancestors; and was as terrible to his Neighbours under the Royal Name
of _Long-shanks_, as _Coeur de Lion_ to the _Saracens_ before him. If
we look farther back into History we shall find, that _Alexander_ the
Great wore his Head a little over the left Shoulder; and then not a
Soul stirred out 'till he had adjusted his Neck-bone; the whole
Nobility addressed the Prince and each other obliquely, and all
Matters of Importance were concerted and carried on in the
_Macedonian_ Court with their Polls on one Side. For about the first
Century nothing made more Noise in the World than _Roman_ Noses, and
then not a Word of them till they revived again in Eighty eight. [2]
Nor is it so very long since _Richard_ the Third set up half the Backs
of the Nation; and high Shoulders, as well as high Noses, were the Top
of the Fashion. But to come to our selves, Gentlemen, tho' I find by
my quinquennial Observations that we shall never get Ladies enough to
make a Party in our own Country, yet might we meet with better Success
among some of our Allies. And what think you if our Board sate for a
_Dutch_ Piece? Truly I am of Opinion, that as odd as we appear in
Flesh and Blood, we should be no such strange Things in Metzo-Tinto.
But this Project may rest 'till our Number is compleat; and this being
our Election Night, give me leave to propose Mr. SPECTATOR: You see
his Inclinations, and perhaps we may not have his Fellow."
I found most of them (as it is usual in all such Cases) were prepared;
but one of the Seniors (whom by the by Mr. President had taken all
this Pains to bring over) sate still, and cocking his Chin, which
seemed only to be levelled at his Nose, very gravely declared,
"That in case he had had sufficient Knowledge of you, no Man should
have been more willing to have served you; but that he, for his
part, had always had regard to his own Conscience, as well as other
Peoples Merit; and he did not know but that you might be a handsome
Fellow; for as for your own Certificate, it was every Body's
Business to speak for themselves."
Mr. President immediately retorted,
"A handsome Fellow! why he is a Wit (Sir) and you know the Proverb;"
and to ease the old Gentleman of his Scruples, cried,
"That for Matter of Merit it was all one, you might wear a Mask."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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