Dorset (England) -- Fiction; Illegitimate children -- Fiction; Textile industry -- Fiction
The blood of Sabina Dinnett was poisoned through an ordeal of her life
when it should have run at its purest and sweetest. That the man who had
promised to marry her, had exhausted the vocabulary of love for her,
should thus cast her off, struck her into a frantic calenture which, for
a season, threatened her existence. The surprise of his decision was not
absolute and utter, otherwise such a shock might indeed have killed her;
but there lacked not many previous signs to show that Raymond Ironsyde
had strayed from his old enthusiasm and found the approach of marriage
finally quench love. The wronged girl could look back and see a thousand
such warnings, while she remembered also a dark dread in her heart as to
what might possibly overtake her on the death of Daniel. True the shadow
had lasted but a moment; she banished it, as unworthy, and preferred to
dwell on the increased happiness and prosperity that must accrue to
Raymond; but the passing fear had touched her first, and she could look
back now and mark how deeply doubt tinctured all her waking hours since
the necessity arose for Raymond to wed.
For a few days she raged and was only comforted with difficulty. Mr.
Churchouse and Jenny Ironsyde both visited Sabina and bade her control
herself and keep calm, lest worst things should happen to her. Ernest
was still sanguine that the young man would regret his suggestions; but
Jenny quenched this hope.
"It is all of a piece," she said, "and, looking back, I see it. His
instinct and will are against any such binding thing as marriage. He
wants to make her happy; but if to do so is to make himself miserable,
then she must go unhappy. Some bad girls might accept his offer; but
Sabina, of course, cannot. She is not made of the stuff to sink to this,
and it was only because he always insisted on the vital need for her to
complete his life, that she forgot her wisdom in the past and believed
they were really the complement of each other. As if a woman ever was,
or ever will be, the real complement of a man, or a man, the complement
of a woman! They are only complementary as meat and drink to the
hungry."
After some days Sabina read Raymond's letter again and it now awoke a
new passion. At first she had hated herself and talked of doing herself
an injury; but this was hysteria bred of suffering, since she had not
the temperament to commit self-destruction. Now her rage burned against
the child that she was doomed to bring into the world, and she brooded
secretly on how its end might be accomplished. She knew the peril to
herself of any such attempt; but while she could not have committed
suicide, she faced the thought of the necessary risks. If the child
lived, the hateful link must exist forever, if it perished, she would be
free. So she argued.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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