American fiction -- 20th century; American fiction -- California; Western stories
Her fingers closed hard upon the letter at the very last instant--ah,
not too late. But suppose she had, but for one second, opened her thumb
and forefinger and--what? What would come of it?
And there, with the letter yet on the edge of the drop she called up
again the entire situation, the identity of the stories, the
jeopardizing--no, the wrecking--of her future career by this
chance-thrown barrier in the way. Why hesitate, why procrastinate? Her
thoughts came to her in a whirl. If she acted quickly now,--took the
leap with shut eyes, reckless of result,--she could truly be sorry then,
truly acknowledge what was right, believe that Vickers had the prior
claim without the hard necessity of acting up to her convictions. At
least, this harrowing indecision would be over with.
"Indecision?" What was this she was saying? Had she not this moment told
herself that she was resolved--resolved to accept "The Last Dryad"?
Resolved to accept it? Was that true? Had she done so? Had she not made
up her mind long ago to decline it--decline it with full knowledge that
its author would destroy it once the manuscript should be returned?
These thoughts had whisked through her mind with immeasurable rapidity.
The letter still rested half in, half out of the drop. She still held it
there.
By now Rosella knew if she let it fall she would do so deliberately,
with full knowledge of what she was about. She could not afterward
excuse herself by saying that she had been confused, excited, acting
upon an unreasoned impulse. No; it would be deliberate, deliberate,
deliberate. She would have to live up to that decision, whatever it was,
for many months to come, perhaps for years. Perhaps,--who could
say?--perhaps it might affect her character permanently. In a crisis
little forces are important, disproportionately so. And then it was, and
thus it was, that Rosella took her resolve. She raised the iron flap
once more, and saying aloud and with a ring of defiance in her voice:
"Deliberately, deliberately; I don't care," loosed her hold upon the
letter. She heard it fall with a soft rustling impact upon the
accumulated mail-matter in the bottom of the box.
A week later she received her letter back with a stamped legend across
its face informing her with dreadful terseness that the party to whom
the letter was addressed was deceased. She divined a blunder, but for
all that, and with conflicting emotions, sought confirmation in the
daily press. There, at the very end of the column, stood the notice:
VICKERS. At New York, on Sunday, November 12, Harold Anderson
Vickers, in the twenty-third year of his age. Arizona papers please
copy. Notice of funeral hereafter.
Three days later she began to write "Patroclus."
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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