“I don’t agree with Septimus,” said the M.P. “The rules do not provide for this contingency, and it must be settled under the equity clause of Rule 36. Regarding it in this way, it seems exactly six of one and half a dozen of the other, and the best--indeed, the only thing--to do is to regard the green as under repair, and the hole as temporarily closed. Shakespeare and Bacon should therefore call it a half and pass on. If they had seen the flag before playing their tee shots it might have made a difference.” “I am in entire accord with you, William,” the Colonel declared. “Ditto,” said the Author. “That was the ruling I had in my mind.” “I think we ought to have another opinion,” persisted the Parson, “but for the present I desire to go with the majority.” “Now let us hear the character of the problem that our friend the hon. member for North-East Fife has to present to this tribunal,” said the Colonel, with an expectant look to the quarter indicated. “My case is a somewhat singular one, gentlemen,” the M.P. responded. “It is this: “A public road leading to the clubhouse crosses the line to the second hole, and when John Smith and Isaac Rosenstein were playing this hole it happened that Isaac’s bad slice landed his ball under the back seat of a motor-car standing still in the road, said car, curiously enough, being the new one which Rosenstein himself has bought this season, and which, it is suggested, he likes to ‘show off’ with. Seeing where the ball had gone to, and having the price of ten balls on the match, a thought passed through his mind. Hailing the chauffeur in the car, he exclaimed, ‘You mitherable vellow! Did I not tell you to geep that car in the garage at the back of the clubhouse, where it vould not be damaged. Be off vith you this very instant, or I vill sack you! Quick!’ And before John Smith could speak the chauffeur was doing his forty miles an hour back to the clubhouse--with the ball still in the car. Smith and Rosenstein then wrangled for hours, the latter being greatly astonished because his opponent objected to his dropping a ball, and that without penalty, at the spot where he played his last stroke. The points presented for argument are these: (1) Shall Rosenstein drop without losing a stroke? (2) Shall he drop and lose stroke and distance? (3) Shall he not drop at all, but lose the hole? (4) Shall he play the ball from where it lies under the seat of the motor-car in the club garage, as, if he loses on the first two counts, he wants to do? (5) What ought to have been done?” “I trust that your friend Rosenstein will not offer himself as a candidate for membership of this club,” observed the Colonel with a smile, “because you might tell him if he thinks of doing so that I have heard of this incident, and I happen to be on the committee.” “He is no friend of mine,” said the M.P. “Well then, gentlemen,” the man of arms demanded, “what is your pleasure that we should do in the _affaire_ Rosenstein?”