Confound that fellow Brown! He seems to be waiting. And he is smoking his dirty shag so much That I can hardly see the hole for smoke. If I lose this hole I shall lose the match. I am quite with Johnny Low in his new idea for handicapping, When he says some of us should be allowed to play Our bad shots over again. In that case I would have one good smack at this ball To get the strength and the hang of Everything. And I am certain--yes, I am quite absolutely certain-- That I would hole the ball next time. However, what does it matter? Better men then I have missed such putts, And I am not a chicken--live a hard life--lot of work-- Office to-night--awful day to-morrow. And as the wife was saying-- Let me see. Oh! hang this putt! He can have his half-crown if he wants it, But I am going to have one good smack At this ball. Now-- No, that was wrong. Now, yes, yes-- * * * * * My godfathers! And my godmothers! I have missed that putt again! [_When the ball came to a standstill it was just an inch and a half short of the hole, and considerably to the left of the proper line to the middle._] X Some of those cantankerous people who have no sympathy with games, and but a limited confidence in the wise precept that the healthy mind is most frequently to be found in association with the healthy body--practical people they like to call themselves--will sometimes ask you what is the good of golf. It is generally useless to attempt to humour them by advancing the proposition that it returns a dividend of fifty per cent. in mental and physical efficiency, and seventy-five in the general happiness of the subject.