But just for the moment he was thinking neither of the immediate present
nor of the greater part of his long-reaching past. His mind, unusually
stimulated by the day’s events, swung easily to and fro between the
future at Blindbeck and the far-off boyhood which he had spent with
Will. Blindbeck had never been his home in any sense, but his call to
Blindbeck was nevertheless the call of the past. They would renew their
youth for each other, the two old men, and forget when they were
together that they were old. They turned instinctively to each other,
as all turn to those who can recreate for them the young beginnings of
their lives. On the marsh Simon always felt immeasurably old, weighted
as with an actual burden by the years. He saw himself looking behind
him at them as at monsters created in his pride, which now and for ever
were out of his control. With Will beside him, they would lie in front
as they used to do, rolling meadowlands still untouched by the plough of
time. Because they had been young together it would be impossible for
them to be really old. Because they had been young together they could
took smiling, shoulder to shoulder, into the unbelievable grave.
Not that his longing had any such definite frame of thought as this,
though he was aware that in it had lain the motive which had fixed his
mind. He only moved towards its fulfilment as all untutored souls move
naturally towards release from strain. He scarcely remembered Sarah
after their talk had come to an end that was hardly an end, like an
unravelled cord of which no one troubles to count the untwisted strands.
That mighty leap which he was taking across the years carried him well
above both Sarah’s and Geordie’s heads. The school-years, the climbing,
running, hungry years were more distinct to him than the heavy,
responsible years of marriage and middle life. He saw himself and Will
running after the hounds, paddling in calm lakes of gold-shot evening
tides, skating by slowly rising moons. He saw a raw lad going shyly but
stolidly to his first place, already a man in the awed estimation of the
brother left behind. He heard the clink of the first money he had ever
earned, which had gone straight from his pocket into the family purse.
He had handed it over without a twinge of regret, and his empty hands
had continued to thrill with pride. Later, he had begged a couple of
shillings for himself and Will, and had never thought of the money then
or since but as a gift....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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