She talked until he was tired, and then she made his tea, and left him
happy with the papers which she had brought from Witham. Her own tea she
ate mechanically, with the whole of her mind still fixed on the promise
of the day, and when she had finished she was drawn to the window again
before she knew. The Thornthwaites would be home by now, she concluded,
looking out. Tired and discouraged, they would be back again at the
farm, feeling none of the quivering hope which lifted and thrilled her
heart. Sarah would not even dwell on the offer, having put it by for
good, and Simon did not as much as know that there had been an offer at
all. They would creep to bed and sleep drearily, or wake drearily
against their will, while she would wake of her own accord in order to
clasp her purpose and find it still alive. She could not bear the
thought of the long, blank night which would so soon be wrapping them
round; even a stubborn refusal of her hope would be a better friend to
them than that. Stronger and stronger grew the knowledge within her
that she must see them before they slept. It was for their sake, she
told herself, at first, thirsting to be across, and then, as she
clinched her decision, knew it was also for her own.
She went upstairs again to put on her coat and hat, wondering as she did
so what her father would have to say. He would be sure to enquire what
took her across the sands so late, yet he would wonder and fret if she
left him without a word. Geordie’s name had dropped into silence
between them for many a year, and, lately as she had spoken it to Sarah,
it would be hard to speak it now. She knew only too well what her
father would think of her offer of hard-saved gold. He had always been
bitter against Geordie for her sake, and would want no wastrel fetched
overseas to play on her pity again. She stole half-way down the stairs,
and then was vexed with herself and went up again with a resolute tread.
Once more she hesitated, with her hand on the door-latch, and then it
slipped from her finger and she found herself in the room.
Fleming looked up from his paper with his faded eyes. "Off again,
lass?" he enquired, noticing how she was dressed. "Is there a pill-gill
Milthrop way to-night?"
She shook her head.
"Not as I know of.... Nay, I’m sure there’s not." She stood staring at
him, uncertain what to say, and then her eyes, as if of their own
accord, turned back towards the sands. "I just felt like going out a bit
again, that’s all."
"Likely you’re going up road for a crack wi’ Mrs. Bridge?"
"Nay ... I didn’t think o’ going there."
"To t’station, happen?"
"Nor that, neither...." There was a little pause. "Just--out," she
added, and the note in her voice seemed to reach before her over the
sandy waste. Fleming heard it, and saw the track of her gaze as well.
"What’s up, lass?" he asked quietly, letting his paper drop. "What
d’you want to do?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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