Courtship -- Fiction; Married people -- Fiction; Singers -- Fiction
The phrase seemed to crystallise in words the whole vague trouble that
had been knocking at her heart, and she realised suddenly, with a shock
of unbearable dismay, that she was _jealous--jealous of Adrienne_!
Hitherto, she had not in the least understood the feeling of depression
and _malaise_ which had assailed her. She had only known that she felt
restless and discontented when Max was out of her sight, irritated at
the amount of his time which Miss de Gervais claimed, and she had
ascribed these things to the depth of her love for him! But now, with
a sudden flash of insight, engendered by the Russian's dexterous
suggestion, she realised that it was jealousy, sheer primitive jealousy
of another woman that had gripped her, and her young, wholesome,
spontaneous nature recoiled in horrified self-contempt at the
realisation.
Pobs' good counsel came back to her mind: "It seems to me that if you
love him, you needs _must_ trust him." Ah! but that was uttered in
regard to another matter--the secret which shadowed Max's life--and she
_had_ trusted him over that, she told herself. This, this jealousy of
another woman, was an altogether different thing, something which had
crept insidiously into her heart, and woven its toils about her almost
before she was aware of it.
And behind it all there loomed a new terror. Olga Lermontof's advice:
"_Ask him who he is_," beat at the back of her brain, fraught with
fresh mystery, the forerunner of a whole host of new suspicions.
Secrecy and concealment of any kind were utterly alien to Diana's
nature. Impulsive, warm-hearted, quick-tempered, she was the last
woman in the world to have been thrust by an unkind fate into an
atmosphere of intrigue and mystery. She was like a pretty, fluttering,
summer moth, caught in the gossamer web of a spider--terrified,
struggling, battling against something she did not understand, and
utterly without the patience and strong determination requisite to free
herself.
For hours after Olga's departure she fought down the temptation to
follow her advice and question her husband. She could not bring
herself to hurt him--as it must do if he guessed that she distrusted
him. But neither could she conquer the suspicions that had leaped to
life within her. At last, for the time being, love obtained the
mastery--won the first round of the struggle.
"I will trust him," she told herself. "And--and whether I trust him or
not," she ended up defiantly, "at least he shall never know, never see
it, if--if I can't."
So that it was a very sweet and repentant, if rather wan, Diana that
greeted her husband when he returned from the afternoon rehearsal at
the theatre.
Max's keen eyes swept the white, shadowed face.
"Has Miss Lermontof been here to-day?" he asked abruptly.
"Yes." A burning flush chased away her pallor as she answered his
question.
"I see."
"You see?"--nervously. "What do you see?"
A very gentle expression came into Max's eyes.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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