TIM DOOLIN was a well known jock, an active sprite, and light and trim, And time there was, that jocks did funk, to mount, and run the race with him. He won by length, he won by head, he saved the race by nose, and ear, Till all the jocks, around their pints, exclaimed the thing was devilish queer. But fortune is a gay coquette; by fickle fortune, Doolin lost, Till every one who backed him, soon did find him out a fraud and frost. I've seen him lose at Punchestown, I've seen him last, at Baldoyle too, At Fairyhouse I've seen him fall--his colours then were black and blue. He stood and scratched his head amain, beside the stable door one night; He had been drinking tints of malt, and felt as he were almost tight. A race was on to run next day; he totted up his chance to win, When turning thro' the stable-door, he saw a gentleman within! He thought the thing extremely strange, and asked the man, why he was there, And stoutly gave the hint, that he was there, to sneak, and dose the mare. The gentleman, he laughed a laugh. "I've backed the beast myself, by gum! And you must win, or I will be the loser of a tidy sum." "Well, look," said Doolin, "pon me sowl, I have me doubts that she's in form." The stranger glared at Doolin, and with voice, as of a rising storm, Accused the jock of practices, that were not meet for honest men, And asked him how he won so oft, and could not pass the post again? "Well, yis, yer honor, 'pon me faith, it puzzles me the same as you, That I can't jerk the horse ahead, and win as once I used to do. I never drink before the race. I always pray before I mount: And yet I find it's all the same; my prayers have come to no account!" "I used to curse and swear, but, ah, bedad, my swearing days are done!" "Then how on earth could you expect to be the man who could get on?" "I may not dare to curse and swear. I have a rich, religious aunt, I'm in her will, and I would lose the fortune if I did, and shan't. She often heard me curse and swear; but warning me one day, says she: 'If you go on to curse and swear, I'll have no more to do with thee! I've made my will, and left you all my worldly goods, and money, too; I've got it written, signed and sealed, so you be careful what you do!' I promised her, upon my oath, that I would neither curse nor swear, And I have kept my word, and I will keep my word to her, so there! She lent to me a cockatoo, and cautioned me, I must not lack, To treat him well; he's in the room I occupy, till she comes back."