She staggers up at midnight, then bring her to her knees; Do anything, but let her Enjoy a way, to better The miserable midnight of her life, into the day Of brighter fortune's light; Aye, crush her back to night, And teach her how to thank you, by kneeling down to pray. Yes, hound away the ballet, Destroy the chance of Sally, For she has many prizes in the marriage market won. By hypocritic prudity, Go boom the semi-nudity, Of drawing room and salon, for the first and second son. [Illustration: CAUGHT IN THE BREACH.] OF fascinating parts, He played with female hearts; 'Twas reprehensible, as you may guess; But still it was his way, Continued he to play, Until a maiden asked him for redress, And folly bore the fruit, Of breach of promise suit, He owns a couple of thousand pounds the less, He's a sorry man to-day, he does confess, And the wily way of woman he does bless, And his pipe is all that he will now caress, He doesn't care to think of it, the mess! [Illustration: A KLEPTOMANIAC'S DOOM.] THE Lord of Masherdudom wore on his essencèd curls A golden zone of strawberry leaves, and rays with pips of pearls, Tho' he was called an Englishman his blood was Prussian blue, Which unto his complexion gave a gallimaufry hue, The Earl of Masherdudom, he was just as he began, He seemed in perpetuity, a fossil ladies' man, And yet he wasn't what you'd call an absolute success, He hankered to be more, than most; he wasn't, he was less, For he was poisoned with the grip of miser hungered greed, And racking rent upon the screw, he made his tenants bleed.