Well it was a beautiful bug, I can't deny that. However it had not
traveled across countless light-years because I had just made it myself
that morning. Most of the parts were assembled from other insects,
with a few pieces of plastic thrown in where nature had let me down.
Its body was as long as my hand, and it had three sets of wings, each
set in a different color. There were a lot of legs underneath, pretty
mismatched I'm afraid since they came from a dozen other insects and
a lot of them got mashed or misplaced during construction. Some other
nice touches like a massive stinger, three eyes, a corkscrew tail and
such-like were not lost on my rapt audience. I had had the foresight to
make the case of tinted plastic which blurred the contents nicely and
hinted at rather than revealed them.
"But you must see it more closely, your highness," I said, snapping
open the case while both of us swayed back and forth. This was a
difficult juggling act as I had to hold the case in the same hand as
my wine glass, leaving my other hand free to grasp the monstrosity. I
plucked it out between thumb and forefinger and the king leaned close,
the drink in his own glass slopping back and forth in his eagerness. I
squeezed just a bit with my thumb and the bug popped forward in lively
fashion and dived into the King's glass.
"Save it! Save it!" I cried. "A valuable specimen!" I plunged my
fingers in after it and chased it around and around. Some of the drink
slopped out staining Villelm's gilt-edged cuff. A gasp went up and
angry voices sounded. Someone pulled hard at my shoulder.
"Leave off you title-stealing clots!" I shouted, and pulled away
roughly from the grasp. The drowned insect flew out of my fingers and
landed on the King's chest, from where it fell slowly to the floor,
shedding wings, legs and other parts on the way. I must have used a
very inferior glue. When I leaped to grab the dropping corpse the
forgotten drink in my other hand splashed red and sticky onto the
King's jacket. A howl of anger went up from the crowd.
I'll say this much for the King, he took it well. Stood there swaying
like a tree in the storm, but offering no protest outside of mumbling,
"I say ... I say ..." a few times. Not even when I rubbed the wine in
with my handkerchief, treading on his toes by accident as the crowd
behind pushed too close. One of them pulled hard at my arm, then let go
when I shrugged. My arm struck against Villelm IX's noble chest and his
royal upper plate popped out on the floor to add to the fun.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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