Something came in through the door and I recoiled, thinking the war was
on. It was only a robot, but it made such a hideous amount of hissing
and clanking that I wondered what was wrong with it. The Count ordered
the ghastly thing to wheel over the bar, as it turned away I saw what
could only have been a _chimney_ projecting behind one shoulder.
There was the distinct odor of coal smoke in the air.
"Does that robot burn _coal_--?" I gurgled.
"It does," the Count said, pouring us out a pair of drinks. "It is a
perfect example of what is wrong with the Freiburian economy under the
gracious rule of Villelm the Incompetent. You don't see any robots like
this in the capital!"
"I should hope not," I gasped, staring bug-eyed at the trickle of steam
escaping from the thing, and the stains of rust and coal dust on its
plates. "Of course I've been away a long time ... things change...."
"They don't change fast enough! And don't act galactic-wise with me,
Diebstall. I've been to Misteldross and seen how the rubes live. You
have no robots at all--much less a contraption like this." He kicked at
the thing in sullen anger and it staggered back a bit, valves clicking
open as steam pumped into the leg pistons to straighten it up. "Two
hundred years come next Grundlovsday we will have been in the League,
milked dry and pacified by them--and for what? To provide luxuries for
the King in Freiburbad. While out here we get a miserable consignment
of a few robot brains and some control circuitry. We have to build the
rest of the inefficient monsters ourselves. And out in the real sticks
where you come from they think robot is a misspelling of a boat that
goes with oars!"
He drained his glass and I made no attempt to explain to him the
economics of galactic commerce, planetary prestige, or the multifold
levels of intercommunication. This lost planet had been cut off
from the mainstream of galactic culture for maybe a thousand years,
until contact had been reestablished after the Breakdown. They were
being eased back into the culture gradually, without any violent
repercussions that might upset the process. Sure, a billion robots
could be dumped here tomorrow. What good would that do the economy? It
was certainly much better to bring in the control units and let the
locals build the things for themselves. If they didn't like the final
product they could improve the design instead of complaining.
The Count of course didn't see it this way. Angelina had done a nice
job of playing upon his prejudices and desires. He was still glaring
at the robot when he leaned forward and suddenly tapped a dial on the
thing's side.
"Look at that!" he shouted. "Down to eighty pounds pressure! Next thing
you know the thing will be falling on its face and burning the place
down. Stoke, you idiot--_stoke_!!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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