Great Britain -- History -- George IV, 1820-1830 -- Fiction; Love stories; Widows -- Fiction
“Yes—Maud, my sister, that is my own blood, is it not? Maud laughed, oh,
she laughed! She came and sat by the side of my bed, the wound that
Lochore’s bullet had made was yet green in my lung—for the memory of our
old friendship he could not even do me the mercy to shoot straight—and
she, my own sister ... my blood! She was to marry the man whose hand was
red and whose soul was black, the man who had openly flaunted about
Town, as the latest Corinthian, the girl that was to have been his
friend’s bride, and boasted that he had done me what he called the best
service one man could do another. ‘Why, fool, you owe him eternal
gratitude,’ said Maud. It was a huge joke!”
Terrified, Ellinor stood looking at him. If her pride had allowed her to
reason with him earlier, perhaps it might have availed. Now she felt
that any words of hers would be worse than useless. As well try to
reason away ague or delirium.
“My friend, my love, my kin, you see!” he cried. “History repeats
itself. You, you,” he came close to her with a frenzied gesture as if to
overwhelm her with reproach, “you, my kin, you who came into my solitude
as my friend, you whom some blind madness has kept whispering to me was
to be my love, you would combine in your single person the three
traitors that stabbed my youth!”
She never knew if she had screamed, or if it was only the cry of her
heart that suddenly rang in her ears. But she seized and clung to his
descending hand as it would have waved her from him for ever.
“Ah, no, David, no!” she repeated, the denegation in a voice as frenzied
as his own. And suddenly her ice of pride melted and the tears came
streaming from her eyes. At the sight the man seemed to come back in
some way to his senses. The cold hand she held became more human warm.
“Tears?” he said in an altered voice. “Have I caused you tears? Ah,
don’t cry, Ellinor! I must not blame you; it is only that the world is
not made for me, nor I for the world. Forgive me and forget. You are
what you are. I am what I am.” He drew his hand from hers, turned his
glance away. “To-night, as you sat, so resplendent, so pleased with the
flattery and the admiration of these ... these creatures; so decked out,
so different, the scales fell away from my eyes. I saw the new course of
self-deception I had entered upon; and it was very bitter. I have had no
sleep this month. The past has been brought back upon me. I knew that it
would be so—and dreaded it. Forgive me, Ellinor!”
He took her hand and led her, as he spoke, back into the observatory and
towards the stairs. She felt she was being dismissed from her high place
in his life.
When they reached the tower stair he said again: “Forgive me, forget.”
And as he spoke he dropped her hand. And she ran from him into the
shelter of the darkness.
She wept through the night. But, heavy as was the darkness about her
soul, in it shone one star at least. Jealous! He was jealous ... and
without love there is no jealousy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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